Men as victims of (sexual) harassment in the workplace.

#1
We hear a lot about women being treated unprofessionally and demeaned in the workplace, frequently along sexual lines, but I am curious to know how often it is that the man comes forward and states his case as the harassed.

Are the criteria or grounds for complaint the same for a man as for a woman? ( I will need a bit of assistance from those who are of an orientation that may lay somewhere between the two.)

Are there some at this forum who may have experienced circumstances that made them feel uncomfortable yet they did not report them for fear of ridicule? Have unresolved matters led any to leave their employ in search of more favorable circumstances?

Discussion welcome...
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#2
A friend of mine is a correctional officer.  He just told me about this yesterday.  There was a woman in the psych unit, who was getting out of control.  All the female guards geared up to enter her cell.  They asked her if there was any way that they could get her to come out peacefully.  She said that she would come for my friend, who happens to be very good looking.  She said that he was nice to her when he booked her and that she had the hots for him.  They called him.  He came over and she came out peacefully.  No one was hurt, but can you imagine, if the male correction officers called over a good looking female correction officer for the same thing.  That wouldn’t happen.  The female correction officers always say inappropriate things to him.  I told him that he should go out on stress leave like they do.  He just laughed.
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#3
Circa a third of working men in the US supposedly report harassment (coercion via threats or bribes, unwanted sexual attention, hostility toward one's gender). But tormenting / pressuring directed at males is taken less seriously and there's not been much research about it. Some tentative data may corroborate the hypothesis of it as "a form of punishment for men who deviate from the prescriptions of traditional masculinity".

Gender identity was becoming complicated with Millennials even before science began paying homage to a gender spectrum with its own developments. So it should be noted that our dichotomy of harassment into neat "M/F" categories here is still riding on Old School habits. Consideration of a person's biological identity may be a mere optional factor in the future. As the varying psychological degrees between male/female, the anatomical status of transgender states, the neutral and non-gender identities, and orientations completely outside the two sexual polarities become more pervasive, pronounced, and formally accepted.
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#4
(Sep 3, 2016 12:37 AM)Secular Sanity Wrote: A friend of mine is a correctional officer.  He just told me about this yesterday.  There was a woman in the psych unit, who was getting out of control.  All the female guards geared up to enter her cell.  They asked her if there was any way that they could get her to come out peacefully.  She said that she would come for my friend, who happens to be very good looking.  She said that he was nice to her when he booked her and that she had the hots for him.  They called him.  He came over and she came out peacefully.  No one was hurt, but can you imagine, if the male correction officers called over a good looking female correction officer for the same thing.  That wouldn’t happen.  The female correction officers always say inappropriate things to him.  I told him that he should go out on stress leave like they do.  He just laughed.

Wow! I suppose that one might grant some consideration for conduct and language given that the woman was in a psych ward. As your friend had been the booking officer, it could be warranted to ask him to assist rather than escalate the situation but I concede your point that if the prisoner was a male making the same demands that they would be unlikely to turn the situation around.

The female officers saying inappropriate things to him is completely unprofessional and he should not be subjected to such conduct. Perhaps it is a more difficult situation to present yourself as a victim if the other parties keep the dialogue below a certain threshold when you are a man. Some dudes would be peacocks for the attention but that does not make it appropriate.
Thank you for sharing.

(Sep 3, 2016 12:40 AM)C C Wrote: Circa a third of working men in the US supposedly report harassment (coercion via threats or bribes, unwanted sexual attention, hostility toward one's gender). But tormenting / pressuring directed at males is taken less seriously and there's not been much research about it. Some tentative data may corroborate the hypothesis of it as "a form of punishment for men who deviate from the prescriptions of traditional masculinity".

Gender identity was becoming complicated with Millennials even before science began paying homage to a gender spectrum with its own developments. So it should be noted that our dichotomy of harassment into neat "M/F" categories here is still riding on Old School habits. Consideration of a person's biological identity may be a mere optional factor in the future. As the varying psychological degrees between male/female, the anatomical status of transgender states, the neutral and non-gender identities, and orientations completely outside the two sexual polarities become more pervasive, pronounced, and formally accepted.

Thank you for the link, CC. This discussion of unwanted attention or other harassment has plenty of side trails for exploration indeed. Gays and Lesbians have long borne the fear of reprisal in our society and it is a beautiful thing that in my workplace we have several couples with same gender 'wives' in our workforce. The Yukon is a surprisingly proactive region on a number of fronts.
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#5
(Sep 3, 2016 02:23 AM)scheherazade Wrote: The Yukon is a surprisingly proactive region on a number of fronts.


That is surprising in a reflexive-thought kind of way. But OTOH I guess "frontier" regions and "unspoiled" environments have tended in the past to be a mecca for change-oriented, spiritual, and non-conformist movements.

An old documentary from the 80s or early 90s (primarily concerning wildlife in the territory) presented a kind of skewered representation of Yukon as being virtually un-populated when the tourist season abates. I know 37,000 people still isn't much as far as a stable, non-migratory population goes. But that filmed account really seemed to go overboard in depicting the towns as becoming virtually shut-down and deserted during the coldest stretch of the year.
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#6
We fight hard to reduce double standards when they concerns us, but when it comes to men, not so much. 

I’ve hit a man before. Have either of you?  


[Image: woman-slapping-e1378232374557.jpg]


When I caught my first love with another woman…POW, right in the kisser.  I was only 17 but that’s no excuse.   It was instant karma, though.  His dog immediately latched onto my leg.  I learned my lesson, and I haven’t done it since, but I see it happen all the time.  It’s more socially acceptable.  You see it in person.  You see it in films.  If the tables were turned, we’d be appalled.
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#7
(Sep 4, 2016 04:34 PM)C C Wrote:
(Sep 3, 2016 02:23 AM)scheherazade Wrote: The Yukon is a surprisingly proactive region on a number of fronts.


That is surprising in a reflexive-thought kind of way. But OTOH I guess "frontier" regions and "unspoiled" environments have tended in the past to be a mecca for change-oriented, spiritual, and non-conformist movements.

An old documentary from the 80s or early 90s (primarily concerning wildlife in the territory) presented a kind of skewered representation of Yukon as being virtually un-populated when the tourist season abates. I know 37,000 people still isn't much as far as a stable, non-migratory population goes. But that filmed account really seemed to go overboard in depicting the towns as becoming virtually shut-down and deserted during the coldest stretch of the year.

That may have been the case about 30 years ago with the resource boom and bust economy of that era and a shrinking population for a couple of years after the largest lead/zinc mine closed down. Since then the Yukon has been successfully marketed as a year round tourist destination (aurora borealis viewing etc.) and corporate convention venue. Agriculture has increased significantly and infrastructure continues to expand. Frontier regions are indeed very equal opportunity and the ladies who helped to pioneer the Klondike were as hardy as any man.
The smaller communities are still very quiet in the off season compared to the capital city of Whitehorse but they also have increased significantly in winter activity and economy.
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#8
(Sep 5, 2016 03:53 PM)Secular Sanity Wrote: I’ve hit a man before. Have either of you? 

In some accidental ways. LOL

Quote:If the tables were turned, we’d be appalled.


Male-on-male violence can also seem virtually ignored in comparison to the public services attention that male-on-female violence gets ("Boys will be boys. That's what they've been doing to each other for centuries; you can't stop it."). Similarly, the vast loss of life from black-on-black violence is ignored by the national media ("That's what they do to each other. It's normal."). Compared to the special, widespread coverage of white-on-black violence which does stimulate activist demands to be stopped / remedied (though the results still arguably impotent in terms of success).

But the number of abused women / girls in the country (especially what goes unreported) may be closer to rivaling what the guys do to each other. Than the gap between same-race violence versus different-race violence (setting aside the historic pogroms of indigenous peoples, extensive slave & discrimination brutalities of the past, etc in the New World and continuing ages-long clashes between different ethnic groups in the Old World).
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#9
(Sep 5, 2016 03:53 PM)Secular Sanity Wrote: We fight hard to reduce double standards when they concerns us, but when it comes to men, not so much. 

I’ve hit a man before. Have either of you?  


[Image: woman-slapping-e1378232374557.jpg]


When I caught my first love with another woman…POW, right in the kisser.  I was only 17 but that’s no excuse.   It was instant karma, though.  His dog immediately latched onto my leg.  I learned my lesson, and I haven’t done it since, but I see it happen all the time.  It’s more socially acceptable.  You see it in person.  You see it in films.  If the tables were turned, we’d be appalled.

I do not recall any occasion when I have struck a man in part because my grandfather instilled in me that humans of any gender should not strike each other. Two men of my past found themselves disenfranchised in a heartbeat on the first occasion that they raised a hand to me.

That being said, I would certainly strike back in defense of myself or others should the circumstances warrant but it is highly unlikely that I would be the one to throw the first blow.
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#10
I was wondering how people felt about this situation. I know of a boy that was 14, who had sex with a woman that was 20. Here in California the age of consent is 18. She had a child with him and he was ordered to pay child support. Do you think it’s fair to force a statutory rape victim to pay child support?
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