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Syne
Jan 11, 2019 01:07 AM
Ex-male escort who slept with 150 men quits sex for year and 'turns straight'
A former male escort who slept with 150 men claims quitting sex for a year made him realise he is straight.
Dominic Hilton, 27, came out as gay to his family when he was 14 and says he had no doubt he would one day marry a man.
Between the ages of 18 and 19, he even worked as an escort before happily settling down with long-term boyfriends as a self-confessed "serial monogamist".
But after splitting with his most recent ex on Christmas Day in 2017, he decided to make a New Year's resolution and become celibate for 2018.
Now, after a year without sex, he is ready to re-enter the dating world - but with one major difference.
Dominic, who has appeared on Channel 4's Naked Attraction, claims he is looking exclusively for a woman as his coitus hiatus has permanently shifted his sexual preference.
The 27-year-old mental health worker, from Bournemouth, says he his not bisexual as he is no longer even slightly attracted men.
...
Dominic said: "Sex is always something I enjoyed, but this past year, that sexual attraction to men has just gone.
"If you’d have asked me in the past if a person can change their sexuality, I’d have said no – but I’m living proof that you can.
"It was a gradual thing – not like someone flicked a switch and I was straight – but now I am actively seeking a girl to settle down with.
"I’ve had sex with men, but not women, so want to find an open-minded girl I can lose my virginity to."
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Secular Sanity
Jan 11, 2019 01:51 PM
(This post was last modified: Jan 11, 2019 04:42 PM by Secular Sanity.)
Well, I’m not surprised. Right before Christmas, I ran into an old colleague. She wanted to meet up for lunch. She’s been in a relationship with another woman for over 25 years. They have a son. She hooked up with a professor. Did it the old fashion way to save money. Went for brains over looks. Her son is a math professor at a nearby university. Not handsome but smart. She’s religious. Catholic, I think. She asked me about my beliefs. It made me a little uncomfortable but I was open with her. She was fine with it, though. She said that her son was an atheist, as well. I thought, yeah, well, he’s smart, right? She asked me what my theory was on homosexuality. I said that I thought it was genetic. I was surprised when she told me that she didn’t feel that way. She said that she was sexually abused as a child. When she was in high school, a female P.E. teacher started paying more attention to her. She swears that nothing happened until she was eighteen, and had graduated, but thinks that because she was so desperate for love and affection, that this is what influenced her preference. She said that she is attracted to males and really misses their masculine traits. She said that if something was to happen to her partner that she would definitely seek the companionship of a male. She said that a friend of ours offered her his arm when they were walking and that even little things like that made her realize that she’s been living a lie.
Quote:Sexual orientation is integrally linked to the intimate personal relationships that human beings form with others to meet their deeply felt needs for love, attachment, and intimacy.
…
Often, sexual orientation and sexual orientation identity are not distinguished, which can impact accurately assessing sexual identity and whether or not sexual orientation is able to change; sexual orientation identity can change throughout an individual's life, and may or may not align with biological sex, sexual behavior or actual sexual orientation. While the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health and American Psychiatric Association state that sexual orientation is innate, continuous or fixed throughout their lives for some people, but is fluid or changes over time for others, the American Psychological Association distinguishes between sexual orientation (an innate attraction) and sexual orientation identity (which may change at any point in a person's life).
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homosexuality
Who knows, though? It looks like most people think that sexual orientation is supposed to be more stable in men.
Quote:In Sexual Fluidity, which was awarded with the 2009 Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Issues Distinguished Book Award by Division 44 of the American Psychological Association, Diamond speaks of female sexuality and trying to go beyond the language of "phases" and "denial", arguing that traditional labels for sexual desire are inadequate. For some of 100 non-heterosexual women she followed in her study over a period of 10 years, the word bisexual did not truly express the versatile nature of their sexuality. Diamond calls "for an expanded understanding of same-sex sexuality."
Diamond, when reviewing research on lesbian and bisexual women's sexual identities, stated that studies find "change and fluidity in same-sex sexuality that contradict conventional models of sexual orientation as a fixed and uniformly early-developing trait." She suggested that sexual orientation is a phenomenon more connected with female non-heterosexual sexuality, stating, "whereas sexual orientation in men appears to operate as a stable erotic 'compass' reliably channeling sexual arousal and motivation toward one gender or the other, sexual orientation in women does not appear to function in this fashion... As a result of these phenomena, women’s same-sex sexuality expresses itself differently from men’s same-sex sexuality at every stage of the life course."
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_fluidity
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Zinjanthropos
Jan 11, 2019 03:08 PM
Quote:Dominic, who has appeared on Channel 4's Naked Attraction,
That’s showbiz.
The new Dom, just another role, more publicity, more tv appearances, a book, movie, fortune & fame?
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Syne
Jan 11, 2019 06:45 PM
(Jan 11, 2019 01:51 PM)Secular Sanity Wrote: Well, I’m not surprised. Right before Christmas, I ran into an old colleague. She wanted to meet up for lunch. She’s been in a relationship with another woman for over 25 years. They have a son. She hooked up with a professor. Did it the old fashion way to save money. Went for brains over looks. Her son is a math professor at a nearby university. Not handsome but smart. She’s religious. Catholic, I think. She asked me about my beliefs. It made me a little uncomfortable but I was open with her. She was fine with it, though. She said that her son was an atheist, as well. I thought, yeah, well, he’s smart, right? She asked me what my theory was on homosexuality. I said that I thought it was genetic. I was surprised when she told me that she didn’t feel that way. She said that she was sexually abused as a child. When she was in high school, a female P.E. teacher started paying more attention to her. She swears that nothing happened until she was eighteen, and had graduated, but thinks that because she was so desperate for love and affection, that this is what influenced her preference. She said that she is attracted to males and really misses their masculine traits. She said that if something was to happen to her partner that she would definitely seek the companionship of a male. She said that a friend of ours offered her his arm when they were walking and that even little things like that made her realize that she’s been living a lie. Yeah, there's many such stories that are suppressed in the media/cultural narrative.
The fact that she suffered sexual abuse and her orientation would keep mental healthcare workers from addressing that, for fear of being called out by the social media mob, is a much more evident and direct explanation for LGBT mental health outcomes.
If given a chance, natural biology tends to reassert itself.
Quote:Who knows, though? It looks like most people think that sexual orientation is supposed to be more stable in men.
I wouldn't doubt it. Sexual desire in men is very object oriented, whereas in women it is experience oriented. Objects don't change, but experiences can come from a wide variety of sources.
(Jan 11, 2019 03:08 PM)Zinjanthropos Wrote: Quote:Dominic, who has appeared on Channel 4's Naked Attraction,
That’s showbiz.
The new Dom, just another role, more publicity, more tv appearances, a book, movie, fortune & fame?
That dismissal doesn't fly in the age of people demanding we accept what gender/orientation people claim they are born as.
If we accept their gender/orientation identity on their word alone, we must also accept when they admit they weren't born that way or that they can change/have a choice.
Otherwise, we'd just be cherry-picking the LGBT experiences we prefer for some narrative.
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Secular Sanity
Jan 11, 2019 08:10 PM
(Jan 11, 2019 06:45 PM)Syne Wrote: If given a chance, natural biology tends to reassert itself.
I don't know about that because it's fluid in both directions.
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Syne
Jan 11, 2019 08:21 PM
(Jan 11, 2019 08:10 PM)Secular Sanity Wrote: (Jan 11, 2019 06:45 PM)Syne Wrote: If given a chance, natural biology tends to reassert itself.
I don't know about that because it's fluid in both directions.
The only thing fluid is how nurturing affects nature. Barring traumatic experience and its lingering consequences, millions of years of evolutionary psychology predominates.
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Zinjanthropos
Jan 11, 2019 09:09 PM
Quote:Zinjanthropos Wrote: Wrote:Quote: Wrote:Dominic, who has appeared on Channel 4's Naked Attraction,
That’s showbiz.
The new Dom, just another role, more publicity, more tv appearances, a book, movie, fortune & fame?
That dismissal doesn't fly in the age of people demanding we accept what gender/orientation people claim they are born as.
If we accept their gender/orientation identity on their word alone, we must also accept when they admit they weren't born that way or that they can change/have a choice.
Otherwise, we'd just be cherry-picking the LGBT experiences we prefer for some narrative
Playing Devils Advocate and not naive enough to think there are no ulterior motives. Got nothing against LGBTQ community but this smells IMHO. This article has just as much producer's salt being shaken into it as a locker on Storage Wars.
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Leigha
Jan 11, 2019 09:12 PM
(This post was last modified: Jan 11, 2019 09:12 PM by Leigha.)
I wonder why as a culture, we get so concerned over who other people sleep with, and that it is considered ''news.'' I could see if he were breaking laws, then it deserves a headline. But, ''breaking news...gay man decides to stop sleeping with men, and realizes he wants to sleep with women.'' Who cares?????????
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Magical Realist
Jan 11, 2019 09:29 PM
(Jan 11, 2019 09:12 PM)Leigha Wrote: I wonder why as a culture, we get so concerned over who other people sleep with, and that it is considered ''news.'' I could see if he were breaking laws, then it deserves a headline. But, ''breaking news...gay man decides to stop sleeping with men, and realizes he wants to sleep with women.'' Who cares?????????
Only sex-deprived prudes are interested in other people's sex lives.
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Leigha
Jan 11, 2019 09:36 PM
(This post was last modified: Jan 11, 2019 09:52 PM by Leigha.)
(Jan 11, 2019 09:29 PM)Magical Realist Wrote: (Jan 11, 2019 09:12 PM)Leigha Wrote: I wonder why as a culture, we get so concerned over who other people sleep with, and that it is considered ''news.'' I could see if he were breaking laws, then it deserves a headline. But, ''breaking news...gay man decides to stop sleeping with men, and realizes he wants to sleep with women.'' Who cares?????????
Only sex-deprived prudes are interested in other people's sex lives.
I just don't care what consenting adults do in their bedrooms. I only care if there's a lack of consent from all parties, or crimes are being committed.
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