Tinkering with creative writing thread: poetry, lyrics, prose, rap, etc (hobbies)

[confused2]

Love the cleaner fish song. Not saying CC isn't also brilliant but I kind of expect that from CC whereas the poetry is an unexpected talent from Z.
Being of a highly competitive nature I started my own cleaner fish song. I got as far as "The cleaner fish, isn't a deener fish" and (fortunately for all) - got no further.

[Zinjanthropos]

Love the cleaner fish song. Not saying CC isn't also brilliant but I kind of expect that from CC whereas the poetry is an unexpected talent from Z.
Being of a highly competitive nature I started my own cleaner fish song. I got as far as "The cleaner fish, isn't a deener fish" and (fortunately for all) - got no further.

CC's prose is much more cerebral than anything I can offer.

I looked up deener. A shilling, a valley, either large or small male sex organ, masturbation and dinner. Interesting word/slang. In what context would a deener fish fit into. I'm guessing something like a little prick. ..lol

[confused2]

Deener (dinner) .. really a good thing I stopped.

[C C]

CC's prose is much more cerebral than anything I can offer.

You and I are far closer than you think with respect to preferring something with either a song-like or story-like narrative over the abstract baubles, stratospherically careening skywriting, and cryptographically intense affairs that connoisseurs laud. "Look at those hillbillies square dancing below our Ivory Tower of Lit, Professor Baudelaire. Can't we summon the gendarme to shoo them away?"

[C C]

Revision of part of a former one ("The Strangling Fall") that was a little too clandestine about its topic (i.e., not directly mentioned in the title). This severely abridged do-over might very well be all there will be to it, since every attempt to add more seems to detract from the "opening" -- comes across as unnecessary filler. At any rate, its ambiguous status or future warrants dropping it in this thread.
- - - - - - - -


Divorce Form

It's picked clean, this field of war.
Yet dirtier than a floor unswept.
Robbed of wheat, sown with gore,
Wry missiles too fast to intercept.
Vows revoked, flags unfurled,
Noisy geese winging above a world.
Dormancy at the step,
Exodus underway,
Nothing sleepless or guilty can stay.

[C C]

. . . . .

[C C]

- - - - -

[Zinjanthropos]

Wrote this when I thought I was done with the Cleaner Fish inspiration. It’s been sitting in my notes since that time. Can’t be fun on the reef at night when sharks are on the prowl so I figured this time the damn fish should reveal some personal thoughts.

Midnight Zone

Life on the reef
Is very brief
If you can’t hide in the dark
Don’t get caught all alone
In the midnight zone
And eaten by a shark

Without the light
You can feel the fright
At the feeding frenzy hour
Don’t venture out
And swim about
It’s best to hide and cower

If I survive
See day arrive
Shark action all but ceased
Irony indeed
That when I look to feed
I must enter the mouth of the beast

[C C]

^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^
Fitting sequel, Zin. Captures the competitive spirit of aquatic species, while also exhibiting some social justice perspective on the oppressive hierarchy of the deep(?) sea community.

[confused2]

I can't say the cleaner fish saga has exceeded my expectations - I was expecting something stunning - and it is.