Wife devastated after husband becomes Catholic & bans her from contraception

#1
C C Offline
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/artic...ption.html

INTRO: A heartbroken wife is pleading for advice about saving her marriage after her husband 'found God' and now forbids her from using contraception. The man, who became 'very religious' over the past two years, was recently baptised into the Catholic Church, which teaches that birth control is 'intrinsically evil' and only permits natural methods of family planning such as menstrual cycle tracking.

During his wife's second pregnancy, he told her he believes contraception 'is a sin' and banned her from taking the pill and other forms of hormonal birth control. The 36-year-old mother-of-two is not religious and doesn't want any more children due to health complications arising from her last pregnancy - differences that are driving a widening wedge between the couple.

'Telling him this lead to disagreement, then argument, then resentment,' the wife posted anonymously in an Australian parenting group on Facebook. 'We've been at odds for over a year now and there is still no resolve. Apparently all forms of contraception are sinful besides cycle tracking, which doesn't work for me.'

She said she is devastated that her husband - who is a 'good man, wonderful father' and overall a supportive spouse - has allowed his strict interpretation of Catholicism to jeopardise their marriage. 'I'm so tired of it all,' she wrote. 'I feel that religion has no right to govern who loves who and how they do so, which has lead to more arguing.'

The wife said she doesn't want to divorce her husband because he's 'such an amazing father' but feels 'lost' about how to resolve their growing differences. 'I never imagined in a million years I'd be in this situation,' she wrote. 'We were both agnostic all our adult lives. He said having children made him seek God, I feel so lost on what to do.'

Her post has drawn dozens of sympathetic responses since it was uploaded online on Saturday... (MORE)
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#2
Syne Offline
You can't change others. So she'll have to decide if having a good provider is worth compromising or giving up sex and hoping he stays. The Catholic proscription against contraception is silly, but you can't dictate what others believe.
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#3
Zinjanthropos Offline
What some guys do for a BJ is amazing. She's getting what she wants but the poor guy hasn't for some time. So he's put her on the clock, or menstrual cycle if you wish. He's waiting for the moment when she suggests it, a return to the past, let's see what he does then. Big Grin   Either the story is BS or there's way more to it.

I wonder what sexually active Catholic priests do? Maybe she should ask one of them.
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#4
Leigha Offline
The RCC forbids oral sex too Z, unless it leads to intercourse. Not 100% certain, but I think that the RCC makes exceptions for women who have health issues, when it comes to birth control. It's hard to say if the husband in the story is merely controlling, and using religion as a tool. Sad story, either way. Unfortunate that he converted to Catholicism, because it's a religion built around legalism, which Jesus warned about.
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#5
Zinjanthropos Offline
(Jan 12, 2021 06:11 PM)Leigha Wrote: The RCC forbids oral sex too Z, unless it leads to intercourse. Not 100% certain, but I think that the RCC makes exceptions for women who have health issues, when it comes to birth control. It's hard to say if the husband in the story is merely controlling, and using religion as a tool. Sad story, either way. Unfortunate that he converted to Catholicism, because it's a religion built around legalism, which Jesus warned about.

Didn't say the guy was up on his chosen religion or smart, but he may be using it for selfish reasons. Yep, some type of control but not birth...heheheh

From story I didn't think either one of them wants anymore kids. So is his deliberate abstinence associated with menstrual timing actually a form of contraception? He seems to be deliberately allowing her egg to die so how different is that from the pill or condom?  Obviously she likes spontaneous sex and neither of them are getting what they want.
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#6
Leigha Offline
(Jan 12, 2021 06:27 PM)Zinjanthropos Wrote:
(Jan 12, 2021 06:11 PM)Leigha Wrote: The RCC forbids oral sex too Z, unless it leads to intercourse. Not 100% certain, but I think that the RCC makes exceptions for women who have health issues, when it comes to birth control. It's hard to say if the husband in the story is merely controlling, and using religion as a tool. Sad story, either way. Unfortunate that he converted to Catholicism, because it's a religion built around legalism, which Jesus warned about.

Didn't say the guy was up on his chosen religion or smart, but he may be using it for selfish reasons. Yep, some type of control but not birth...heheheh

From story I didn't think either one of them wants anymore kids. So is his deliberate abstinence associated with menstrual timing actually a form of contraception? He seems to be deliberately allowing her egg to die so how different is that from the pill or condom?  Obviously she likes spontaneous sex and neither of them are getting what they want.

That’s a great point. What’s the difference if you’re “family planning” naturally or using chemicals to control it? Either way, the couple is controlling it. (I believe condoms are off the table, too.)

The RCC feels that oral contraception serves as a potential abortifacient which is one of the the main reasons it teaches Catholics to refrain from using it. But to your point, I’ll have to research a bit to get a better sense of their stance on NFP. The idea may be that one should trust God with any potential new life, even if said life is unplanned, so having spontaneous sex wouldn’t be an issue.
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#7
Zinjanthropos Offline
Quote:That’s a great point. What’s the difference if you’re “family planning” naturally or using chemicals to control it? Either way, the couple is controlling it. 


That thought only occurred to me when typing last post. Figured I'd type it in there before I forgot.  Wink

Either way, oral from her or deliberate menstrual timing from him, it's an intentional kill shot. Preventing a baby from being conceived. They are both guilty of contraceptive actions(FP?), although they may not realize it. Who would have thought it so? Looks like your God trying to tell you something, through me of all people.
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#8
Leigha Offline
I didn't read in the article that the husband is advocating for oral sex - is this just something added into the discussion outside of the article? Either way, the RCC frowns on oral sex without it leading to intercourse...an ''openness to life.'' That's the end game when it comes to sex from the RCC viewpoint...procreation and having an ''openness to life'' from all sexual activity. Not all Christian denominations however, share the same position that all sexual activity between a husband and wife needs to be procreative.
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#9
Zinjanthropos Offline
(Jan 12, 2021 07:44 PM)Leigha Wrote: I didn't read in the article that the husband is advocating for oral sex - is this just something added into the discussion outside of the article? Either way, the RCC frowns on oral sex without it leading to intercourse...an ''openness to life.'' That's the end game when it comes to sex from the RCC viewpoint...procreation and having an ''openness to life'' from all sexual activity. Not all Christian denominations however, share the same position that all sexual activity between a husband and wife needs to be procreative.

Didn’t say he was. Said he may be using religion as a ploy to further a gain.

I think you got it right suggesting Family Planning is designed not to have children. Why that’s different than a contraceptive is what they pay the Pope for.
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#10
Leigha Offline
(Jan 12, 2021 09:04 PM)Zinjanthropos Wrote:
(Jan 12, 2021 07:44 PM)Leigha Wrote: I didn't read in the article that the husband is advocating for oral sex - is this just something added into the discussion outside of the article? Either way, the RCC frowns on oral sex without it leading to intercourse...an ''openness to life.'' That's the end game when it comes to sex from the RCC viewpoint...procreation and having an ''openness to life'' from all sexual activity. Not all Christian denominations however, share the same position that all sexual activity between a husband and wife needs to be procreative.

Didn’t say he was. Said he may be using religion as a ploy to further a gain.

I think you got it right suggesting Family Planning is designed not to have children. Why that’s different than a contraceptive is what they pay the Pope for.

Ah, gotcha. I may have assumed he was based on your comment above about a ''BJ.'' lol
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