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7 most common sex fantasies + Knee replacement didn't solve sex problems for 40%

#1
C C Offline
The Seven Most Common Sexual Fantasies (unfettered styles)
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/...-fantasies

EXCERPT: I asked 4,175 Americans this question as part of the survey that formed the basis for my book Tell Me What You Want. I gave people the opportunity to write out their favorite fantasies in their own words, and many went into great detail. I then looked for common themes in people's descriptions and found that seven broad categories emerged. These included:

1. Multipartner sex. ... 2. Power, control, and rough sex. ... 3. Novelty, adventure, and variety. ... 4. Taboo activities. ... 5. Passion, romance, and intimacy. ... 6. Being in a nonmonogamous relationship. ... 7. Gender-bending and homoeroticism ...

[...] It is important to note that while these numbers reflect how many people said they’d ever had each type of fantasy, the percentage who fantasied about each theme often or reported that it was their favorite fantasy is lower. In other words, for some people, these fantasies are just a one-time thing, whereas, for others, they fantasize about these things frequently.

In addition, while the data here came from a large and diverse sample (over 4,000 adults aged 18-87 from all 50 states), it is not representative of the U.S. population. Participants were largely recruited through social media, which means that their demographics more closely match the average social media user than the average American.

Lastly, remember that just because someone fantasizes about something doesn't necessarily mean that they desire it or want to do it. While there is definitely some overlap between fantasy and desire, these terms are not synonymous. (MORE - details)



Knee replacement didn't solve sexual problems for 40% (prosthesis fashion letdowns)
https://in.reuters.com/article/us-health...KA?rpc=401&

EXCERPT: . . . “Patients generally have high expectations towards the results of a prosthesis and expect to remain active despite their age, which also includes sexual activity,” said study leader Rita Harmsen of Leiden University Medical Center in the Netherlands. Harmsen and colleagues analyzed data for more than 800 patients scheduled for total knee replacement in 2012-2015 at seven hospitals in The Netherlands.

Patients ranked their preoperative expectations and postoperative fulfillment on a 5-point scale. Before the knee replacement surgery, about half of patients expected better sexual activity after recovery. Men were more likely to have expectations for postoperative sexual activity, particularly men under age 60. About 46% of men expected “back to normal” sexual activity, compared with 32% of women. For both genders, anticipation decreased with age.

Overall, about 58% reported fulfillment of their expectations after surgery, which was nearly equal for men and women. Fulfilment was slightly lower in higher age groups for both genders. Women under age 65 experienced fulfillment more often than men of the same age. Importantly, those in better health before surgery were more likely to report better sexual activity after surgery. And patients who experienced greater health improvements after surgery reported fulfilled or exceeded sexual expectations as well.

“At the same time, about 40%, or two out of five patients, experienced unfilled expectations,” Harmsen said. “These results can be very disappointing.” (MORE)
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#2
Leigha Offline
Interesting ''fantasies.'' And some things are best left in fantasy, imo.  Dodgy

The overpowering/dominance one isn't uncommon for women, even if we don't like to admit it. For me, I've had a recurring fantasy, although not frequent, involving someone in authority, usually a doctor, who abuses his authority, and takes advantage of me during what should be a purely clinical exam. But, for some reason, I don't ever stop him. Instead, the ''exam'' usually progresses to sex, where I'm shocked as it's all unwinding, but not stopping it from happening. The caveat being that the doctor isn't seducing me per se, he's convincing me that it's all part of the exam. I'm quite gullible in fantasy-life. But, the point being ... my intrigue is strictly with the fact that the doctor represents ''authority'' in a way.

Of course, I would be appalled in ''real life,'' if this were to actually happen. But, in my subsconscious, I'm pretty liberated. lol
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#3
Magical Realist Offline
Quote:Lastly, remember that just because someone fantasizes about something doesn't necessarily mean that they desire it or want to do it. While there is definitely some overlap between fantasy and desire, these terms are not synonymous.

That's an interesting distinction. Part of the attraction of fantasy is perhaps its deviation from the usual and the real. Its power is in being fantasy as such, as an unlikely or even impossible scenario, not in being turned into a reality.
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#4
C C Offline
There is that common role of fantasy as a private simulation that helps to satisfy curiosity, interest, and desires in an area without reaping the potential obligations, damage, dangers or consequences.

But another function of fantasy in general is that it is simulation that can allow internally disturbed or potentially violent individuals to defuse negative emotions directed at other people or society. (I.e., that dark side of their personality actually remains subdued thanks to their detailed imagination.) For instance, a vengeful employee might want to abduct his boss and subject him to various humiliations for a couple of weeks, holding him prisoner in an underground chamber before finally releasing him. But the worker is too afraid to do that in tangible life, so "daydreaming" about the act as realistically as possible facilitates fulfilling the raging impulses without actual harm to anyone.

One might even speculate that a percentage of routinely misbehaving guys and gals could even lack an adequate or satisfying capacity for vivid, lifelike imagination. Or similar with some "beforehand apparently normal" citizens who uncharacteristically go bonkers and commit criminal deeds. Maybe the latter prescriptively shun that style of self-applied relief altogether and eventually rupture a pipe from the internal pressure buildup. (Akin to faithful spouses doctrinally refusing to masturbate when sex in the marriage sours.)
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#5
Leigha Offline
Great insight, CC. I think that fantasy life, depending if it's depraved and left unchecked, can lead many to criminal acts. Recently, I watched the Netflix original about Ted Bundy, and the film discusses the psychological nature of Bundy, more so than his crimes. He was a psychopath, whose fantasies were of a macabre nature - what may have caused those fantasies of murdering women? And at what point did his fantasy life become more of a delusional view of the world around him? I don't think he could separate fantasy from delusion. His murdering of women became nearly compulsory, he confessed...more than mere fantasy.
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#6
C C Offline
(Nov 21, 2019 08:53 PM)Leigha Wrote: Great insight, CC. I think that fantasy life, depending if it's depraved and left unchecked, can lead many to criminal acts. Recently, I watched the Netflix original about Ted Bundy, and the film discusses the psychological nature of Bundy, more so than his crimes. He was a psychopath, whose fantasies were of a macabre nature - what may have caused those fantasies of murdering women? And at what point did his fantasy life become more of a delusional view of the world around him? I don't think he could separate fantasy from delusion. His murdering of women became nearly compulsory, he confessed...more than mere fantasy.


Indeed. If _X_ simulation(s) hang around and become a literal goal or accomplishment sought in life rather an intermittent means to alleviate disturbing emotions or deflect immoral acts, then it becomes escalating addiction. Often does get assistance from extra factors like untreated paranoia, narcissism, lack of empathy, and reality impairment -- whether the result of clinical conditions, substance abuse, rudderless or traumatic childhood, or lifestyle environment. Video games, etc, could even be feeding something sinister if the latter are applicable to an individual.

In retrospect, it's remarkable that television violence of the '50s, '60s, and '70s was routinely excoriated back then as engendering detrimental behaviors and personalities. Today those old western, detective, and cop shows are framed in the context of family television on nostalgia networks like MeTV. Made possible by contrast to the unlimited graphic nature of cable and web television today (explicit torture, mutilation, severed limbs, savage beatings, buckets of blood and internal organs, innumerable varieties of sexual violations, offensive remarks characters direct at each other in every other sentence, etc).
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#7
billvon Offline
(Nov 21, 2019 08:53 PM)Leigha Wrote: Great insight, CC. I think that fantasy life, depending if it's depraved and left unchecked, can lead many to criminal acts. 
That can happen, and is one of the better reasons for being more open about one's fantasy life.  Both because in many cases there _are_ ways to do it consensually (google safe/sane/consensual) and because in the case where it's such a problem that it's going to lead to crimes, better to see that early (and deal with it) than wait until someone goes all Bundy.
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#8
confused2 Offline
Knee replacement didn't solve sexual problems for 40% - I think this might be giving an unwanted insight into sexual preferences in the US. Monica Lewinski springs unbidden to mind.
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#9
Syne Offline
(Nov 25, 2019 01:14 AM)confused2 Wrote: I think this might be giving an unwanted insight into sexual preferences in the US.
Or an unexpected puritanical streak outside the US. Offhand, I can only think of spooning and always on bottom not involving the knees. I might be missing something, but that seems like a very restricted diet.
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