Barbie

#1
I’m struggling to find something to wear to all these weddings that I have to attend. I absolutely hate wearing a dress. I had to wear them when I worked at the courthouse. Being shy, I used to dread having to walk the halls. The clickety-clack of heels call attention to you. 

My husband picked out a pink fitted one. The problem is that this particular wedding is one of my son’s best friends. I had an incident recently, where I went out with a few girlfriends, and the bartender tapped me on the shoulder, and pointed to a group of young men. "They bought you this drink." My first thought was, "Oh, they must be friends of my son." I nodded and said thank you. They came over and I asked them if they knew my son. They said, "Oh, shit! You’re his mother", but then they continued to hit on me. The oldest of the bunch was twenty four. Word got out and my son was pissed.

I tried on the pink dress for my son, and he said, "Oh, hell no! Dad is leading you down the wrong path. You look like a Barbie", and I must admit, that song is the first thing that popped into my head when I tried it on.

The problem is, is that this year’s styles are all over the place, from prairie dresses, hippie, bohemian, 1950’s June Cleaver’s, baby doll, or to just really weird shit. Every time I enter a store, I feel like I’m in a damn time machine. I don’t know what the hell is going on with all the fashion designers these days but I just want to blend in.

So, this morning, I called my friend. She’s been bugging me about how she can return the favor for all the help I’ve been giving her. I said, "I know what you can do to help me. Help me find a dress for this other wedding that I have to attend." I’m loading up my car with all my dresses, heading over to her place, and going shopping...yet again.

I wouldn’t consider myself a tomboy but I do not like wearing a dress. They make me feel defenseless and vulnerable, and heels SUCK!

If we’re going back in time, I think the men should go with us, don’t you?  Big Grin


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#2
(May 16, 2019 04:04 PM)Secular Sanity Wrote: . . . The problem is, is that this year’s styles are all over the place, from prairie dresses, hippie, bohemian, 1950’s June Cleaver’s, baby doll, or to just really weird shit. Every time I enter a store, I feel like I’m in a damn time machine. I don’t know what the hell is going on with all the fashion designers these days but I just want to blend in.


Glad of the retro warning. Get back to your scratching post, "Cats Like Us". Wink

Quote:If we’re going back in time, I think the men should go with us, don’t you?  Big Grin


Not sure some of them need apparel-facilitated, psychological encouragement in terms of further throwback characteristics. Smile But OTOH, going the futuristic direction of those cliché silver and gold suits of humanoid aliens and time-travelers in Irwin Allen's campy TV-romps of the '60s probably wouldn't stimulate behavioral adjustments, either. Many of them were villains.

EDIT (addition): There's always that different kind of "Barbie", but that's more like what the tween or teen has pinned-up on her wall than a radical transformation makeover one would want to venture down. https://underthedome.fandom.com/wiki/Dal...TV_Series)
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#3
Whatever you wore to the bar sounds good. BTW... I would never buy my wife a pink anything.
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#4
Many years ago Mrs C2 had a black velvet wiggle dress. Probably illegal now.
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#5
(May 16, 2019 05:18 PM)C C Wrote: EDIT (addition): There's always that different kind of "Barbie", but that's more like what the tween or teen has pinned-up on her wall than a radical transformation makeover one would want to venture down.  https://underthedome.fandom.com/wiki/Dal...TV_Series)

Loved the quote. Big Grin

(May 16, 2019 08:56 PM)Zinjanthropos Wrote: Whatever you wore to the bar sounds good. BTW... I would never buy my wife a pink anything.

Ha-ha! Yeah, I definitely felt "Legally Brunette" in the pink.

(May 16, 2019 09:32 PM)confused2 Wrote: Many years ago Mrs C2 had a black velvet wiggle dress. Probably illegal now.

Oh, no, there’s those, too. IMHO, they need to section them according to the era. It’s anywhere from the 1920s to the 70s.

I pulled it off, though. I found a form fitting, dressy, black pencil skirt, and a silky black and yellow halter top, with black evening wedged sandals. Fancy and sexy enough but I’ll still be able to blend in. Grateful for the wedge and for the fact that my ankle isn’t extended like a ballerina in toe shoes. Holy shit, that was hard.

Note to self: never ask a man for fashion advice on anything that is to be worn outside of the bedroom.  Dodgy
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