Apology note I wrote my girlfriend of 2007, she had a 160 IQ, standards were high

[Ostronomos]

Melissa,



As you may know, it is very difficult to gauge the true meaning of what a person is saying in such medium as this, which may make communication at times an "intimidating" feat. I just grasped this the hard way over the last two days. It seems I may have read more into your words than you intended in one of your prior messages here. 



"Hi Nick,

Sorry about that. I realize that I misinterpreted your former messages and thought that you were insulting, not joking.



I shouldn't have said what I did without provocation. I screwed up. I'm sorry about misreading the signals.



I did enjoy talking with you on Cerebrals.

-Melissa"



Yesterday when I read this I sort of looked at all the verbs and believed that you were attributing them to me, and then I took that as an explanation for why you didn't respond back. But now I realize that this is not the case. I guess I felt as if I were not worthy enough to see you again. But it is not a question of my unworthiness. This explains my use of the term "retard". 



Now I understand that I then proceeded to redeem this mistake by a series of other messages. I am unsure if I may have overreacted. If this has caused any confusion please tell me. As you may know, I have ran over some pitholes along the road of internet exchange with women in the past and it is an experience I wish never to return to.



That main picture of you is the same one you have at your website. It is beautiful and you are more worthy of the name Aphrodite than anyone I've ever met. I felt as if my pics would be disappointing to you. But the thing is my cell phone can no longer do file transfer and so I cannot take any new ones. I will add more pics overtime though. 



When you sent me that message about you being sorry I realized my own foolishness among other things. I should not have called you a retard. Please forgive me and let me know if I have offended you in any way so that I may understand your preferences. 



My apologies about the length of this message. I am grasping at straws so to speak. However, I have greater expectations of your seeing than most people who may not comprehend and forgive these silly mistakes. You are not a superficial person and I particularly appreciate and admire your sensitivity in talking with people. Am I wrong in believing this?



-Nick.

[Zinjanthropos]

Internet romance, 160 IQ, picture on website? I feel a generation gap personally, something has passed me by. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad to be of the previous generation. 

OK Ostro, get your ass away from the devices.and go out and mingle. Attend a church service or volunteer somewhere, anywhere where gals congregate.

[Syne]

Unless you have actually met, in person, it wasn't a "girlfriend". It was an amorous pen pal, at best.

Zin is right. Get out. Meet people IRL.

[Ostronomos]

Our relationship was not exclusive to the internet. I was invited to meet her in Florida but my car broke down later that year. This was after I purposely annoyed her so that I can assume a pretentious position of power from her perspective and then have her react with rejection.

[Syne]

Phone calls and texts don't count as actually meeting. And it sounds like you're an ass. Annoying people does not give you power.

[Magical Realist]

Any connection to Nigeria and needing money for an emergency?

[stryder]

reminiscing of 10 years ago? The problem with past is it's always in the past. No matter how much hindsight or consideration of "what if I'd done or said that instead" will ever change the overall outcome.

Sometimes it's best to treat the past like action heroes treat explosion scenes and never look back. (While of course adjusting your shades)

I could prattle on about countless tales of talking to girls in yesteryear (late 1990's) over the internet, some I met, some I made audacious plans with but the reality is that most of it became pipedreams or flights of fantasy that never transpired to be anything more. It's possible that I effected hearts and minds, it possible that I promised the world to complete strangers with all intention of giving it, however the way the world turns things weren't meant to be. Contact with such people was lost and to be honest it's probably for the best. I kind of glad that I'm not destined for fame or fortune as I'm sure my past would come back to haunt me by the bus load.

The reality was/is who I was back then was greater than half my years ago, so it's literally a whole other lifetime ago. The reality is though I'm not a tell tales kind of guy, at least not when it comes to those things I find private and I kind of rationalise the same can be said of most people in general (In other words things that are said with the strict confidence of being between yourself and someone else, isn't usually something to blurt online like "revenge porn")