I’m at the coast. A man is walking towards me with a big smile. I’m thinking about my surroundings—the sights and sounds, the air, the temperature, and where I want to go next. I watched him emerge from his vehicle. It had an out of state plate. He says hello, and I’m almost certain that he’s going to comment on the location. Maybe even ask me for a few suggestions—things to see and do, but, no. He didn’t talk to me. He talked at me and about me. "Wow! You are stunning." I wasn’t offended but it wasn’t what I was expecting.
Take Martin Buber’s work for example. He describes an (I-It relation) and an (I-Thou relation). The man made an observation and provided a description. There’s nothing really inherently wrong with that, but I immediately realize that it’s an (I-It relation).
On another occasion, I’m getting ready to hike the lost coast trail. A guy approaches me and asked me if this was my first time. It was. He was really excited and tells me all about the trail. He runs back to his vehicle and gets a few of his sketches. He shows me one of the old Smith cabin. He said that it’s first come-first serve. It’s okay to spend the night there as long as you clean up after yourself. There’s no heat, but there’s fresh water, a shower, and a flush toilet. He wishes me well and heads off in the opposite direction.
The first man drew me as an object within his settings. The second one drew me into our settings.
You’re describing a transactional and instrumental exchange. It collapses a person into something that serves a function.
***The "I-Thou" relation is the pure encounter of one whole unique entity with another in such a way that the other is known without being subsumed under a universal. Not yet subject to classification or limitation, the "Thou" is not reducible to spatial or temporal characteristics. In contrast to this the "I-It" relation is driven by categories of "same" and "different" and focuses on universal definition. An "I-It" relation experiences a detached thing, fixed in space and time, while an "I-Thou" relation participates in the dynamic, living process of an "other".
***Seeming is the essential cowardice of man, the lying that frequently occurs in self-presentation when one seeks to communicate an image and make a certain impression. The fullest manifestation of this is found in the propagandist, who tries to impose his own reality upon others.
***Buber explains the inability to grasp otherness as perceptual inadequacy that is fostered as a defensive mechanism in an attempt to not be held responsible to what is addressing one. Only when the other is accorded reality are we held accountable to him; only when we accord ourselves a genuine existence are we held accountable to ourselves. Both are necessary for dialogue, and both require courageous confirmation of oneself and the other. Martin Buber
Take Martin Buber’s work for example. He describes an (I-It relation) and an (I-Thou relation). The man made an observation and provided a description. There’s nothing really inherently wrong with that, but I immediately realize that it’s an (I-It relation).
On another occasion, I’m getting ready to hike the lost coast trail. A guy approaches me and asked me if this was my first time. It was. He was really excited and tells me all about the trail. He runs back to his vehicle and gets a few of his sketches. He shows me one of the old Smith cabin. He said that it’s first come-first serve. It’s okay to spend the night there as long as you clean up after yourself. There’s no heat, but there’s fresh water, a shower, and a flush toilet. He wishes me well and heads off in the opposite direction.
The first man drew me as an object within his settings. The second one drew me into our settings.
(Aug 28, 2018 04:28 AM)Syne Wrote: Sex is ONE motivation to make up for a disparity of value offered. The only "cost" involved is perhaps the opportunity cost, since there is not really any cost to a voluntary exchange (win/win).
You’re describing a transactional and instrumental exchange. It collapses a person into something that serves a function.
***The "I-Thou" relation is the pure encounter of one whole unique entity with another in such a way that the other is known without being subsumed under a universal. Not yet subject to classification or limitation, the "Thou" is not reducible to spatial or temporal characteristics. In contrast to this the "I-It" relation is driven by categories of "same" and "different" and focuses on universal definition. An "I-It" relation experiences a detached thing, fixed in space and time, while an "I-Thou" relation participates in the dynamic, living process of an "other".
***Seeming is the essential cowardice of man, the lying that frequently occurs in self-presentation when one seeks to communicate an image and make a certain impression. The fullest manifestation of this is found in the propagandist, who tries to impose his own reality upon others.
***Buber explains the inability to grasp otherness as perceptual inadequacy that is fostered as a defensive mechanism in an attempt to not be held responsible to what is addressing one. Only when the other is accorded reality are we held accountable to him; only when we accord ourselves a genuine existence are we held accountable to ourselves. Both are necessary for dialogue, and both require courageous confirmation of oneself and the other. Martin Buber