Leigha > Oct 31, 2018 02:35 AM
Syne > Oct 31, 2018 05:18 AM
Leigha > Oct 31, 2018 04:26 PM
C C > Oct 31, 2018 06:45 PM
(Oct 31, 2018 02:35 AM)Leigha Wrote: [...] Do you think that happiness can ever be a permanent state of mind, or is it fleeting?
Quote:Is it wrong to want sustainability when it comes to happiness?
Quote:[...] What are you the happiest about in your life?
Quote:[...] How do you define success? [...]
Syne > Oct 31, 2018 06:51 PM
Magical Realist > Oct 31, 2018 08:15 PM
Secular Sanity > Oct 31, 2018 08:15 PM
Leigha > Oct 31, 2018 09:11 PM
(Oct 31, 2018 06:51 PM)Syne Wrote: Happiness is not achieving a goal; it's only working toward a goal. And any goal(s) can change. Achieving a goal just means another purpose must be found, and failure may either require a new attempt or a new goal. Happiness is a general sense (and likely state) of well-being, some might describe as flow: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/...-happiness
I don't think happiness is externally contingent, since anyone can make progress toward any goal at any time, even if only planning/visualizing in a way that feels like progress. Although fleeting happiness (a feeling) can have external sources, like when a positive experience completely absorbs your attention.
Disappointment likely only exists where you've either given up on an attainable, but temporarily thwarted, goal or you are holding onto external negativity that is coloring your thoughts.
I have learned how to go into flow at will, but I doubt I could explain what I'm doing. It's a case of being in flow often enough to recognize the triggers, so to speak, and then being able to enter it without even having a specific goal in mind. The best analogy I can think of would be reading a really good book. If you're like me, you get so engrossed that your environment fades away, including sound, and you're not even aware of the words on the page while reading them. A book is passive though; it just happens.
(Oct 31, 2018 08:15 PM)Magical Realist Wrote: Happiness is a spurious goal, particularly if it entails a state of constant giddy euphoria. I aim for peaceful contentment. It is much easier to achieve, and doesn't rely on one achieving certain goals in life. Being content is simply basking in the everyday pleasures of life's existence. The daily routines and unexpected flourishes of nature. It is the joy of a humble and open-hearted existence. Nothing lacking. Nothing else needed. The felt value of simply being alive and open to the world.
As for success?
“If the day and the night are such that you greet them with joy, and life emits a fragrance like flowers and sweet-scented herbs, is more elastic, more starry, more immortal—that is your success.”
― Henry David Thoreau, Walden
Zinjanthropos > Oct 31, 2018 09:27 PM
Syne > Nov 1, 2018 12:08 AM
(Oct 31, 2018 08:15 PM)Secular Sanity Wrote: Syne is always going on about biases, but just from experience, the one that you have to really watch out for in regards to goals is the projection bias. Been there, done that plenty of times. It’s very difficult to avoid. You think you know yourself so well but you’d be surprised by how much you can change, especially when it comes to goals or wants.
(Oct 31, 2018 09:11 PM)Leigha Wrote:(Oct 31, 2018 06:51 PM)Syne Wrote: Happiness is not achieving a goal; it's only working toward a goal. And any goal(s) can change. Achieving a goal just means another purpose must be found, and failure may either require a new attempt or a new goal. Happiness is a general sense (and likely state) of well-being, some might describe as flow: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/...-happiness
I don't think happiness is externally contingent, since anyone can make progress toward any goal at any time, even if only planning/visualizing in a way that feels like progress. Although fleeting happiness (a feeling) can have external sources, like when a positive experience completely absorbs your attention.
Disappointment likely only exists where you've either given up on an attainable, but temporarily thwarted, goal or you are holding onto external negativity that is coloring your thoughts.
I have learned how to go into flow at will, but I doubt I could explain what I'm doing. It's a case of being in flow often enough to recognize the triggers, so to speak, and then being able to enter it without even having a specific goal in mind. The best analogy I can think of would be reading a really good book. If you're like me, you get so engrossed that your environment fades away, including sound, and you're not even aware of the words on the page while reading them. A book is passive though; it just happens.
Temporarily thwarted. How does one know it's only temporary? How does one know when it's time to say ...this just isn't working, and I'm done trying? Or maybe success lurks just around the corner, if I keep striving?
I'm asking for a friend.
I think of inventors, who never gave up, but I wonder if they wanted to. Perhaps the journey towards success is about wanting to quit, but not quitting. Perhaps happiness is about finding a path past the obstacles that at the time, seem insurmountable. People who achieve their goals, aren't immune to pity parties, are they? I've been successful in different areas of my life, and I always forget the struggle. Did Einstein struggle, or are there people who seem to fly above what many of us mere mortals go through? If I'm being honest, anyone who is human, struggles with something.