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Why the coming-of-age narrative is a conformist lie

#1
C C Offline
https://aeon.co/essays/why-the-coming-of...ormist-lie

EXCERPT: [...] The term Bildungsroman was coined by the philologist Karl Morgenstern in the 1820s to denote ‘the hero’s Bildung (formation) as it begins and proceeds to a certain level of perfection’. The term grew in popularity when in 1870 Wilhelm Dilthey wrote that the quintessential Bildungsroman was Johann Wolfgang von Goethe’s Wilhelm Meister’s Apprenticeship (1796), in which the protagonist has the double task of self-integration and integration into society. According to Dilthey, self-integration implies social integration, thus the Bildungsroman is concerned predominately with leading the protagonist (and the reader) into his productive societal place. It is largely from this tradition that most contemporary coming-of-age culture, Salinger included, springs.

Take, for instance, the fact that the culminating fight scene in most superhero stories occurs only after the hero has learned his social lesson – what love is, how to work together, or who he’s ‘meant to be’. Romantic stories climax with the ultimate, run-to-the-airport revelation. The family-versus-work story has the protagonist making a final decision to be with his loved ones, but only after almost losing everything. Besides, for their dramatic benefit, the pointedness and singular rush of these scenes stems from the characters’ desire to finally gain control of their self: to ‘grow up’ with one action or ultimate understanding.

Sometimes there are slight inversions, but the coming-of-age story remains essentially the same. Mike Nichols’s film The Graduate(1967) [...] Only here, at the film’s end, does Benjamin come to realise the error of his ways in deciding not to ‘grow up’ within the expected social boundaries.

Finding one’s true place in the world is a massive trope, not just in film and theatre, but also in literature, education and motivational seminars – any place where young people are involved. In all these cases, the search for the ‘self’ is dubious because it assumes that there is an enduring ‘self’ that lurks within and that can somehow be found. Whereas, in fact, the only ‘self’ we can be sure of is one that changes every second, our decisions and circumstances taking us in an infinite number of directions, moment by moment. And even if we think we have ‘found ourselves’, this is no panacea for the rest of our lives....

MORE: https://aeon.co/essays/why-the-coming-of...ormist-lie
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#2
Magical Realist Offline
Wow. Now I feel enormously relieved of the pressure of locating in my past some defining moment where I became "myself". I never really bought into the myth that one's purpose was to become a successfully integrated member of society. The whole notion of college and careerism and materialistic accumulation to me smacked of the same conformist propaganda as religion did. Even when I joined the Navy it wasn't to identify with the simplistic ideal of the sailor defending his country. My own sexual orientation and the pressure to identify myself as "gay" also became questionable over time. All this because basically I find the whole notion of a self questionable. We are not selves except in a very superficial and socially expedient sense. We are experients---gatherers of experiences that serve to open us outward and beyond the egoic need for identity. We are not here to become selves but rather to transcend the illusion of static and discretely objectified being .
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#3
Syne Offline
The "self" there is to be found is the actualization goals, relative to many things in life. Probably the first of which being how to manage the basic necessities of life as an independent adult. Sadly, I think far too many don't even make it that far.
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