Apr 3, 2026 05:46 PM
(This post was last modified: Apr 4, 2026 05:44 PM by Magical Realist.)
Things to tell people on my deathbed..
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Those Dorito nacho tacos at Taco Bell? They fall apart. Don't order them,
As you get older, you take things more in stride. The little things aren't as important.
If the universe sends you a message, and you ignore it, it will eventually hit you with a 2 by 4 upside the head. Not learning is not an option.
Don't judge people by the car they drive, They are just like you, trying to get somewhere as easily as possible.
Have a healthy disrespect for the law. Speed a little, jaywalk a little, keep rolling at the stop sign. The law was made for man, not man for the law.
Always put your creamer in your cup before you pour in the coffee. You thus save yourself from dirtying a spoon.
Never ever send your food back to the chef in a restaurant. They WILL hockey puck that filet mignon!
Unless you want to spend all day on the toilet, never drink more than one or two high protein shakes a day.
If you wear ball caps, always place them upside down when not wearing them.
You don't have to floss. A good brushing with an electric toothbrush is good enough.
Replace your car battery every 3-5 years.
You don't need a smartphone. Just buy a cheap flip phone.
The brownish Asian pears are always the sweetest.
We are trained from childhood to react instantly with visible emotion and theatrics, as if we are all actors being cued on stage. That is not your true self. Slow down, let the dust settle, and respond thoughtfully and authentically in your own time.
Laugh. Laugh freely and laugh loudly. And laugh even when nobody else is. For the entire Universe is on our side.
So just relax, be yourself at all times, and don't worry what other people think. It's all over with soon enough.
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Those Dorito nacho tacos at Taco Bell? They fall apart. Don't order them,
As you get older, you take things more in stride. The little things aren't as important.
If the universe sends you a message, and you ignore it, it will eventually hit you with a 2 by 4 upside the head. Not learning is not an option.
Don't judge people by the car they drive, They are just like you, trying to get somewhere as easily as possible.
Have a healthy disrespect for the law. Speed a little, jaywalk a little, keep rolling at the stop sign. The law was made for man, not man for the law.
Always put your creamer in your cup before you pour in the coffee. You thus save yourself from dirtying a spoon.
Never ever send your food back to the chef in a restaurant. They WILL hockey puck that filet mignon!
Unless you want to spend all day on the toilet, never drink more than one or two high protein shakes a day.
If you wear ball caps, always place them upside down when not wearing them.
You don't have to floss. A good brushing with an electric toothbrush is good enough.
Replace your car battery every 3-5 years.
You don't need a smartphone. Just buy a cheap flip phone.
The brownish Asian pears are always the sweetest.
We are trained from childhood to react instantly with visible emotion and theatrics, as if we are all actors being cued on stage. That is not your true self. Slow down, let the dust settle, and respond thoughtfully and authentically in your own time.
Laugh. Laugh freely and laugh loudly. And laugh even when nobody else is. For the entire Universe is on our side.
So just relax, be yourself at all times, and don't worry what other people think. It's all over with soon enough.