Jan 3, 2025 06:47 PM
https://psyche.co/ideas/popular-views-of...essimistic
EXCERPTS: If you judge by posts on social media, a new band of villains – ‘narcissists’ – has arrived in town. They gaslight, bully, manipulate, abuse, love-bomb and then abandon. The media will be quick to warn you that narcissists do not care and do not change; they are hopeless, and it’s better to avoid them. You may further think that people who suffer from narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) never enter the therapy room, as they consider themselves superior. So why would they humiliate themselves by asking for help?
This popular, vilifying narrative is not helpful for people who actually have NPD. And although their attitudes and behaviours can indeed cause harm to those who are close to them – their partners, children, colleagues – these are tragic side effects of their maladaptive ways of managing their self-esteem. Vilifying them is not helpful for those individuals, either. The alternative is to take an open-minded approach, and to be curious about what is happening in the mind of someone who has narcissistic tendencies. This is the approach we have taken as therapists with decades of experience working with patients who have NPD. In presenting a humanising view, we invite you to better understand the person behind this diagnosis.
[...] What our experience with people who’ve had NPD shows is that you should not listen to messages that depict these individuals as pure evil, as people who never suffer or, if they do, never seek help. Sure, their interpersonal style can at times be abrasive, cause suffering and make it difficult for others to stay curious about why they would act or think that way. However, they almost never do it for pleasure, but more commonly as part of a self-protective process. And remember, let he who is without sin cast the first stone; are these the only ‘difficult’ personalities or tendencies that people exhibit in everyday life? The reality is that people suffering from pathological narcissism do come to treatment and, with competent guidance and an understanding of what’s really happening, they can be helped... (MORE - details)
EXCERPTS: If you judge by posts on social media, a new band of villains – ‘narcissists’ – has arrived in town. They gaslight, bully, manipulate, abuse, love-bomb and then abandon. The media will be quick to warn you that narcissists do not care and do not change; they are hopeless, and it’s better to avoid them. You may further think that people who suffer from narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) never enter the therapy room, as they consider themselves superior. So why would they humiliate themselves by asking for help?
This popular, vilifying narrative is not helpful for people who actually have NPD. And although their attitudes and behaviours can indeed cause harm to those who are close to them – their partners, children, colleagues – these are tragic side effects of their maladaptive ways of managing their self-esteem. Vilifying them is not helpful for those individuals, either. The alternative is to take an open-minded approach, and to be curious about what is happening in the mind of someone who has narcissistic tendencies. This is the approach we have taken as therapists with decades of experience working with patients who have NPD. In presenting a humanising view, we invite you to better understand the person behind this diagnosis.
[...] What our experience with people who’ve had NPD shows is that you should not listen to messages that depict these individuals as pure evil, as people who never suffer or, if they do, never seek help. Sure, their interpersonal style can at times be abrasive, cause suffering and make it difficult for others to stay curious about why they would act or think that way. However, they almost never do it for pleasure, but more commonly as part of a self-protective process. And remember, let he who is without sin cast the first stone; are these the only ‘difficult’ personalities or tendencies that people exhibit in everyday life? The reality is that people suffering from pathological narcissism do come to treatment and, with competent guidance and an understanding of what’s really happening, they can be helped... (MORE - details)