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Dealing with Death During Lockdown

#1
Zinjanthropos Offline
Here’s hoping he miraculously pulls through but as I write my 97 year old uncle is on his deathbed. Been getting updates from my youngest bro last 24 hrs and he just told me uncle is not responding to treatment and situation is grave. They’re not saying whether he has COVID but they have him in a private hospital room, apparently still awaiting COVID test result. My cousin has been the health care provider for him and his wife who is also 97, and cuz is relaying info to family. She’s been told to prepare for the worst.

Means my mother will be the last surviving member of her family. She’s 85 and doing well. My uncle is a WWII veteran who fought to liberate Holland. He went back there for a 60th anniversary. Dutch people still honour those vets. My mom has told me several times of how difficult it was to live when my uncle came home from war. Many nightmares and mental adjustments for him. No doubt PTSD but he managed to recover, serving in local politics and manager in a nearby refractory. Fathered seven daughters no less. Played a lot of golf and gave me my first set of clubs. 

I doubt very much that we’ll have a funeral during lockdown. Don’t know how they do it but someone said it’s done online these days. So I don’t know if we will all be able to get together for at least a memorial or tribute. Probably be put on hold. Kind of surreal for a man who witnessed and participated in real worldwide horror to be brought down at home in a time that can’t allow a family member to be at bedside or funeral home. But we’re not alone in that regard.
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#2
C C Offline
Best wishes that he makes it, which may not be wholly naive and ridiculous optimism in light of the trials he had to overcome to reach 97. Should he be unconscious, at least spared the emptiness of having no family members by the bedside.

No conventional funeral and honors for these veterans (as well as those important to us in general) is definitely the pits.

Had two marriage-connected relatives die circa the holiday season five years ago. The contrast of that situation probably makes it all the more awful for those nearest to the deceased.
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#3
confused2 Offline
I am of the opinion that the more you have to remember a person by the better - you can choose not to look at it or not to remember but if you have nothing - you have nothing. My mother deliberately eradicated my father when he died - when she died I did the same to her - a revenge 40 years in the making.
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#4
Zinjanthropos Offline
Heard just now my uncle is still hanging in there. Tests prove he has COVID. Word is his vitals have returned but he’s not eating. They’re moving my aunt to hospital today also. He lives in a retirement apartment complex so I don’t know what happens next for those people. My cousin who’s been health care provider probably has it also. Seems these retirement homes are the most likely place to contract virus, so many health care workers going in and out. Uncle is first person I truly know that has virus.
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#5
Zinjanthropos Offline
My 97 year old uncle died this morning of COVID. My aunt will pull through they say. It’s early in funeral arrangement stages but my cousin says it will be cremation followed by a memorial in the spring hopefully.
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#6
C C Offline
Proper that he made it to the shores of the New Year, spared having ill-famed 2020 on the records.
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#7
Zinjanthropos Offline
(Jan 5, 2021 04:39 AM)C C Wrote: Proper that he made it to the shores of the New Year, spared having ill-famed 2020 on the records.

True. He did leave with his marbles, a good thing IMHO. Was told that people his age with COVID are given oxygen for 28 days straight to aid in recovery. Didn’t work for him but apparently it has in other cases. Thought he might make it but talk is he lost the will to live. I figure he just didn’t like all the tubes, masks and drugs used to keep him upright and decided it was his time.
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#8
stryder Offline
(Jan 5, 2021 02:36 PM)Zinjanthropos Wrote:
(Jan 5, 2021 04:39 AM)C C Wrote: Proper that he made it to the shores of the New Year, spared having ill-famed 2020 on the records.

True. He did leave with his marbles, a good thing IMHO. Was told that people his age with COVID are given oxygen for 28 days straight to aid in recovery. Didn’t work for him but apparently it has in other cases. Thought he might make it but talk is he lost the will to live. I figure he just didn’t like all the tubes, masks and drugs used to keep him upright and decided it was his time.

I had a great aunt a few years back that found out that she had an advance stage of thyroid cancer. She didn't tell anyone, and didn't want to interact with anyone about thew news. She went through the same process of refusing to eat and shutting down. I don't know why she did, but I would assume she thought that she didn't want people fussing over here and that they should get on with their lives etc, however she should of realised that people cared about her and while they might want to remember as fit and well, it still would of been better if they had at least the chance to say goodbye. (I guess it's a relative perspective of selfishness; Are we selfish wanting that goodbye? or are they selfish by taking that from us?)

Unfortunately that point isn't something we can impart on the dead, it's only something us living can consider should we ever end up in the same dire situation.

While it's sad to lose a family member, all you can do is concentrate on those you still have such as close family, other relatives or close friends.

As for Covid, I don't think we are going to see much of a different in 2021, sure there might well be a systemwide vaccination however I'm not 100% convinced on the effectiveness.

Especially considering the concerns of storage temperatures for the Pfizer version being something like -70C, very easy to spoil.

The other added concern that was mentioned involved the vaccine might only cover 90 days. Enough for a virus to potentially lose hosts if done properly, but rolling out a vaccine is a bit like painting a bridge.... By the time you get to the other end, you need to start painting it from the start again. So to remove active hosts is a tricky one.
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#9
Secular Sanity Offline
(Jan 4, 2021 03:05 PM)Zinjanthropos Wrote: My 97 year old uncle died this morning of COVID. My aunt will pull through they say. It’s early in funeral arrangement stages but my cousin says it will be cremation followed by a memorial in the spring hopefully.

Sorry for your loss, Zinman. Living a long life does not diminish the pain of the loss.

We had an unusual incident here. One of the hospitals suffered a power failure and had to administer all 850 doses of the vaccine at once. A friend of mine was able to get her parents and herself vaccinated. It was posted on Facebook. I don’t have a Facebook account. One of the benefits of social media, I suppose.  Undecided

"The doses had been stored at Adventist Health Ukiah Valley Medical Center in a special freezer. As explained by Dr. Bessant Parker, chief medical officer for Adventist Health in Mendocino County, at about 11:35 a.m. this morning it was discovered that the freezer’s power had died some time earlier, and that an alarm meant to alert hospital staff of such a failure had not gone off. As a result, the vaccine had begun to thaw or was in danger of thawing.

Doctors immediately realized that it would be necessary to distribute all these 850 doses on an emergency basis, lest they go bad and become unviable. So the staff of the hospital began to make calls, send texts, call in staff that was off, and prepared to administer all the doses.

They began at 12 p.m. and a line soon formed outside and inside of the Ukiah Valley Medical Center, with people off the street, patients, people who had heard from a friend or word-of-mouth, lining up out the door. By 2 p.m. all the doses had been administered and the people left in line had to be turned away. Information was collected from those who did get a vaccine, and they will be given a call at a future date for their booster shot. Additionally, they received CDC vaccine cards."

Freezer Failure Forces Emergency Mass Vaccinations
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