May 27, 2021 10:22 PM
https://nautil.us/issue/100/outsiders/sc...my-shaming
EXCERPT: . . . While this sort of misreporting is nothing new, the Time article reflects a wider, worrying trend—the use of scientific findings to promote unrealistic standards for modern parents. The term “mommy shaming” was added to Urban Dictionary in 2017 following a number of high-profile cases where mothers were publicly shamed for their parenting choices. In 2016, for instance, a lowland gorilla named Harambe had to be shot after a 3-year old climbed into his enclosure. The event was followed by a massive Internet pile-on blaming the child’s mother for Harambe’s death.5 She was widely criticized for failing to watch her child, and for not jumping in after to save him.
Of course, the vast majority of mommy-shaming happens in a much more mundane way. Most mothers will have stories—strangers commenting on breastfeeding choices, in-laws expressing dismay at a child’s lack of discipline, the cashier who thinks junior is too old for a pacifier. I myself have never forgotten the older man who shouted at me to put a hat on my baby on a cool, cloudy day in February. Of course, fathers get these comments too, but mothers, as the public face of parenting, are the disproportionate victims of mommy-shaming.
Why do mommy-shamers feel justified in sharing un-asked-for judgments with people they may not even know? These judgments are often motivated by a desire to do right by the child. It has been pointed out that during the COVID-19 pandemic mommy-shaming has reached a fever pitch6 as parents make new, difficult decisions about schooling, podding, and quarantining, often under enormous uncertainty. The people involved in these debates desperately want to protect the children involved.
But despite good intentions, specific instances of mommy-shaming are often harmful and unjustified. In many cases mommy-shaming involves advice that makes life harder for parents, and offers minimal, if any, benefits for the child. In other cases, like those surrounding COVID-19, the people involved simply cannot know whether their opinions are the right ones, regardless of how certain they may feel.
Popular science articles that make confident claims about parenting on the basis of shoddy evidence can fuel the fire—giving mommy-shamers unwarranted confidence to scold and cajole parents. And what’s worse, too often these articles reflect social beliefs about what parents ought to do, rather than the other way around. While it may seem like science should lead the charge in establishing good parenting guidelines, instead norms about parenting tend to shape how the science is interpreted and communicated. This can lead to a vicious feedback cycle... (MORE - details)
EXCERPT: . . . While this sort of misreporting is nothing new, the Time article reflects a wider, worrying trend—the use of scientific findings to promote unrealistic standards for modern parents. The term “mommy shaming” was added to Urban Dictionary in 2017 following a number of high-profile cases where mothers were publicly shamed for their parenting choices. In 2016, for instance, a lowland gorilla named Harambe had to be shot after a 3-year old climbed into his enclosure. The event was followed by a massive Internet pile-on blaming the child’s mother for Harambe’s death.5 She was widely criticized for failing to watch her child, and for not jumping in after to save him.
Of course, the vast majority of mommy-shaming happens in a much more mundane way. Most mothers will have stories—strangers commenting on breastfeeding choices, in-laws expressing dismay at a child’s lack of discipline, the cashier who thinks junior is too old for a pacifier. I myself have never forgotten the older man who shouted at me to put a hat on my baby on a cool, cloudy day in February. Of course, fathers get these comments too, but mothers, as the public face of parenting, are the disproportionate victims of mommy-shaming.
Why do mommy-shamers feel justified in sharing un-asked-for judgments with people they may not even know? These judgments are often motivated by a desire to do right by the child. It has been pointed out that during the COVID-19 pandemic mommy-shaming has reached a fever pitch6 as parents make new, difficult decisions about schooling, podding, and quarantining, often under enormous uncertainty. The people involved in these debates desperately want to protect the children involved.
But despite good intentions, specific instances of mommy-shaming are often harmful and unjustified. In many cases mommy-shaming involves advice that makes life harder for parents, and offers minimal, if any, benefits for the child. In other cases, like those surrounding COVID-19, the people involved simply cannot know whether their opinions are the right ones, regardless of how certain they may feel.
Popular science articles that make confident claims about parenting on the basis of shoddy evidence can fuel the fire—giving mommy-shamers unwarranted confidence to scold and cajole parents. And what’s worse, too often these articles reflect social beliefs about what parents ought to do, rather than the other way around. While it may seem like science should lead the charge in establishing good parenting guidelines, instead norms about parenting tend to shape how the science is interpreted and communicated. This can lead to a vicious feedback cycle... (MORE - details)