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DIY paternity tests: 20% of men will learn they are not father of tested child - Printable Version

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DIY paternity tests: 20% of men will learn they are not father of tested child - C C - Jan 15, 2019

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6585595/Thousands-dads-left-shock-DIY-paternity-tests-soar.html

EXCERPT: Sales of ‘secret’ paternity tests are surging, according to suppliers of DIY home kits ... leading to growing numbers of men discovering they are not the biological father of children they had been led to believe were theirs.

AlphaBiolabs, the leading British home test supplier, says up to 30,000 paternity tests are being performed in this country every year – and that the figures are rising by ten per cent per year. ‘Of these, around 20 per cent of men will learn they are not the father of the child they are testing,’ says the company’s director, David Thomas. He added that in some regions the figure is higher, including the North East, where it is 30 per cent.

The explosion in demand for the tests has been fuelled by the ease with which definitive DNA paternity results can now be obtained. For about £99, testing kits which promise 100 per cent accurate next-day results can be bought online. [...] As long as the man is named on the child’s birth certificate, or has parental responsibility, no permission is required from either the mother or child, meaning the tests can be carried out in total secrecy.

In some US states, concern over this has led to a recent ban on DIY home DNA testing, with all tests now having to be ordered by a doctor or court official and conducted under their supervision. In Britain, there is no such legislation currently being considered.

Experts warn that the shock of learning a child is not biologically theirs can lead to severe emotional distress for some men, for which they may not be prepared....

MORE: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6585595/Thousands-dads-left-shock-DIY-paternity-tests-soar.html


RE: DIY paternity tests: 20% of men will learn they are not father of tested child - Leigha - Jan 15, 2019

I wonder what happens with child support in these instances, if a guy has been paying it all along, as if he were the father? DNA doesn't really dictate parenthood, how you treat children does. While the father might end up distraught over such news, he probably has bonded with the child, thus making it too painful to walk away.


RE: DIY paternity tests: 20% of men will learn they are not father of tested child - Zinjanthropos - Jan 15, 2019

Quote:Experts warn that the shock of learning a child is not biologically theirs can lead to severe emotional distress for some men, for which they may not be prepared.... 

If they’re not prepared then why buy the kit? Something like the (your) kid resembling the guy next door or if the wife’s been caught cheating should be enough preparation I think. Also if one of the warning experts is the mother of your children then you might want to buy a kit.


RE: DIY paternity tests: 20% of men will learn they are not father of tested child - Syne - Jan 15, 2019

(Jan 15, 2019 05:28 PM)Leigha Wrote: I wonder what happens with child support in these instances, if a guy has been paying it all along, as if he were the father? DNA doesn't really dictate parenthood, how you treat children does. While the father might end up distraught over such news, he probably has bonded with the child, thus making it too painful to walk away.

There's a strong, instinctive bond of blood, where it's your own genetic legacy. No man relishes the notion of being responsible for another man's kid, much less when he may have been cuckholded or lied to in the process. Willing adoption is one thing, but trickery can reorient feelings pretty fast.


In some US states, the courts can order a man to continue to support such a child, with the child's welfare trumping the man's rights.


RE: DIY paternity tests: 20% of men will learn they are not father of tested child - C C - Jan 15, 2019

(Jan 15, 2019 05:28 PM)Leigha Wrote: I wonder what happens with child support in these instances, if a guy has been paying it all along, as if he were the father? DNA doesn't really dictate parenthood, how you treat children does. While the father might end up distraught over such news, he probably has bonded with the child, thus making it too painful to walk away.


Depending on the varying laws around the globe... It's wild that a man already dodging or being tardy about child support, or having to be legally dragged into it to begin with, apparently wanted to find an escape route or loophole from day one (minus necessarily even requiring doubts about being the infant's father, to be like that).

This mindset ironically seems to stem from viewing it as duty (albeit refusing the duty in his case) rather than urge to "fulfill a father's responsibilities" stemming from genuine emotional connection. Despite a guy who for the same reason instead never balked at it and never gives trouble about child support probably being applauded for operating from such an "unconditional love" mindset. (Of course, there will be "fathers" motivated by a mixture of both, too -- presumably or hopefully the majority.)

~


RE: DIY paternity tests: 20% of men will learn they are not father of tested child - Syne - Jan 15, 2019

(Jan 15, 2019 07:17 PM)C C Wrote: Depending on the varying laws around the globe... It's wild that a man already dodging or being tardy about child support, or having to be legally dragged into it to begin with, apparently wanted to find an escape route or loophole from day one (minus necessarily even requiring doubts about being the infant's father, to be like that).
That's rather non sequitur to go from an article that only talks about cheating and deceiving women to the completely unmentioned delinquent fathers. Did you feel some need to try spreading the moral blame around? Do you have any data to back up the notion that DIY paternity tests are significantly motivated by delinquent fathers...or even just absent fathers? That article doesn't mention any.

Quote:This mindset ironically seems to stem from viewing it as duty (albeit refusing the duty in his case) rather than urge to "fulfill a father's responsibilities" stemming from genuine emotional connection. Despite a guy who for the same reason instead never balked at it and never gives trouble about child support probably being applauded for operating from such an "unconditional love" mindset. (Of course, there will be "fathers" motivated by a mixture of both, too -- presumably or hopefully the majority.)

The urge is the duty to fulfill a father's responsibilities. It's not an either/or proposition. And it usually does include an emotional connection that is anchored in genetic legacy. Raising another man's kid unbeknownst is the ultimate in usury, as it not only subverts his resources and other mating opportunities but it also takes advantage of his paternal instinct.


RE: DIY paternity tests: 20% of men will learn they are not father of tested child - Leigha - Jan 15, 2019

(Jan 15, 2019 07:17 PM)C C Wrote:
(Jan 15, 2019 05:28 PM)Leigha Wrote: I wonder what happens with child support in these instances, if a guy has been paying it all along, as if he were the father? DNA doesn't really dictate parenthood, how you treat children does. While the father might end up distraught over such news, he probably has bonded with the child, thus making it too painful to walk away.


Depending on the varying laws around the globe... It's wild that a man already dodging or being tardy about child support, or having to be legally dragged into it to begin with, apparently wanted to find an escape route or loophole from day one (minus necessarily even requiring doubts about being the infant's father, to be like that).

This mindset ironically seems to stem from viewing it as duty (albeit refusing the duty in his case) rather than urge to "fulfill a father's responsibilities" stemming from genuine emotional connection. Despite a guy who for the same reason instead never balked at it and never gives trouble about child support probably being applauded for operating from such an "unconditional love" mindset. (Of course, there will be "fathers" motivated by a mixture of both, too -- presumably or hopefully the majority.)

~

We assume that many men are dodging child support, as that seems to be a popular cultural narrative. But, many men are paying child support, and through the wrongfulness of our court system, are kept from properly being a part of their children's lives. I think that it's shameful as a woman, to dupe a man into believing that he is the father of her child, knowing that there is a strong possibility that he might not be. So, on another level, I think men have a right to know with absolute certainty, if they're the father or not of a child they've accepted as their own. The only drawback is, if they learn that there is no bio connection to the kid that they assumed was theirs, this will undoubtedly cause trauma for him, and potentially the child(ren).


RE: DIY paternity tests: 20% of men will learn they are not father of tested child - Secular Sanity - Jan 16, 2019

It is hypocritical, that’s for sure, when we allow the mother’s, but not the father’s rights to supersede an unborn child, or even a newborn for that matter.

Quote:In the United States, where a child is conceived or born during wedlock, the husband is legally presumed to be the father of the child.

Some paternity laws assign full parental responsibility to fathers even in cases of women lying about contraception, using deceit (such as oral sex followed by self-artificial insemination. [source]

Quote:At some point, a man's lack of actual responsibility for the creation of a child must absolve him of financial responsibility as well."
[source]

But I’m not so sure that this is the reason why some states ban DIY DNA kits, though.

Quote:Maryland and New York still restrict who can order genetic tests and how companies can market them. They only allow a laboratory to offer direct-to-consumer testing without a prescription from a licensed health-care professional if the test has been approved or cleared by the FDA.

The laws are meant to protect consumers from companies making dubious claims about DNA tests and also make sure people receive proper advice and counseling from their doctors about their medical results."
[source]



RE: DIY paternity tests: 20% of men will learn they are not father of tested child - C C - Jan 16, 2019

(Jan 15, 2019 08:39 PM)Leigha Wrote: We assume that many men are dodging child support, as that seems to be a popular cultural narrative. But, many men are paying child support, and through the wrongfulness of our court system, are kept from properly being a part of their children's lives. I think that it's shameful as a woman, to dupe a man into believing that he is the father of her child, knowing that there is a strong possibility that he might not be. So, on another level, I think men have a right to know with absolute certainty, if they're the father or not of a child they've accepted as their own. The only drawback is, if they learn that there is no bio connection to the kid that they assumed was theirs, this will undoubtedly cause trauma for him, and potentially the child(ren).


Indeed difficult for a father who actually had a significant relationship with the mother before it deteriorated; and thereby the child(ren) were planned within it or accidental counting in that context, too.

Otherwise, in some a "flight impulse" may dominate to outright escape, fearfully deny the situation, or project the common "I'm not the father -- you're a slut and a player just as much as I am." If the guy is youthful / immature, and parenthood resulted from a one-time encounter, a handful of bad-memory dates, or the irregular thread of a few party meetings that turned into sex.

Toss in additional factors like lack of a job/skills, drinking or substance addiction, the lingering handicaps of a felony record, hanging on to an aloof "bad boy" demeanor because of persisting clique or gang connections, etc. With the capper being if he lacks competent, immediate relatives for setting him straight or helping him out (including a grandmother if that's all he had). Collectively overwhelming a desire to become emotionally attached if such a capacity ever did dwell yet within either a prolonged adolescent mindset or abusively crippled and borderline mentally ill personality.

But that's not to exclude the occasional older father, grounded in a formal relationship situation, even deliberately bailing out. Years ago I worked with slash had a neighborly-like association for awhile with a woman struggling with three kids. She was driving around in a junky car with virtually no brakes; rarely took the offspring along with her during the stint she had with that vehicle for fear that they'd be injured or killed in an accident along with her.

Whereas the father -- according to both her and his mother who still lived nearby -- was a dentist doing fairly well with a new wife and a new child or two from that marriage. He supplied no child support and had zero contact with his former family, not even calling to talk to the kids. His mother explained that he just couldn't tolerate even marginal contact with his ex-wife. She was a crazy ####, so forth and so on.

Any parent who actually had active feelings for their children wouldn't let that plus living 300 miles away obstruct them 100% of the time (nor certainly one restricted to non-contingent love as duty, if they accepted it). The kids' mother was an ultra-independent sort. Arguably reckless in that way from the standpoint that many a mother would cast pride, politics, or whatever the blinking psychological inhibition is aside and buckle if their children could potentially suffer or be at risk. Nobody was applying much pressure to the guy as guilt/shame and legal proceedings, so he accordingly seemed content to shirk the duty.

~


RE: DIY paternity tests: 20% of men will learn they are not father of tested child - Syne - Jan 16, 2019

(Jan 16, 2019 09:00 PM)C C Wrote: Indeed difficult for a father who actually had a significant relationship with the mother before it deteriorated; and thereby the child(ren) were planned within it or accidental counting in that context, too.

Otherwise, in some a "flight impulse" may dominate to outright escape, fearfully deny the situation, or project the common "I'm not the father -- you're a slut and a player just as much as I am." If the guy is youthful / immature, and parenthood resulted from a one-time encounter, a handful of bad-memory dates, or the irregular thread of a few party meetings that turned into sex.
Again, you seem really keen on blaming men, when your OP article only mentions the cheating and deception of women and you've shown nothing connecting delinquent fathers with DIY paternity tests. Your conspicuous lack of response to this discrepancy would seem to indicate a healthy cognitive dissonance.

Quote:Toss in additional factors like lack of a job/skills, drinking or substance addiction, the lingering handicaps of a felony record, hanging on to an aloof "bad boy" demeanor because of persisting clique or gang connections, etc. With the capper being if he lacks competent, immediate relatives for setting him straight or helping him out (including a grandmother if that's all he had). Collectively overwhelming a desire to become emotionally attached if such a capacity ever did dwell yet within either a prolonged adolescent mindset or abusively crippled and borderline mentally ill personality.

At this point it seems a case of protesting too much.