Quote:

The Plan of Salvation

(as written by Mageth on Infidels)

God himself created man and woman and placed them in a garden, in “his own image”, but got righteously angry at them when they ate, against his wish, and after being tempted by a talking serpent that god himself had somehow allowed to slither about in the garden, a tasty, beautiful fruit, though he himself had placed it there but neglected to instill in his creations the knowledge of good and evil so that they would know it was wrong to eat it. Being omniscient, of course, he knew all this before he started, but was apparently unable to do anything about it because he had planned it this way from the beginning, and apparently god cannot change anything he already knows, in spite of the fact that he’s omnipotent, omniscient and omnibenevolent.
Later, God himself impregnated a virgin so that he himself could be born a human, a ManGod. This was necessary, apparently, because only his own ManGod blood could appease himself and deliver humans, who he created, and who he knew would muck things up by eating the fruit, from his own righteous anger.
Of course, he waited several thousand years to implement this divine plan, in the meantime taking the righteous action of drowning every creature on the planet except a few he could stuff on a boat. Not to mention handing down a Law that served to further condemn every one of us, and in which Law he himself had them frequently sacrifice animals to appease himself, though he knew the blood of animals didn’t really appease himself.
Much later, god, in a garden, prayed to himself to “take this cup” away from himself, though he himself knew that he himself had planned the coming events from the beginning and knew that not even he himself could save himself, even though he was god and omnipotent, omniscient, etc. Accepting this, he said, in effect, “Not my will, but my will.”
God then sacrificed himself to himself to save us from himself. (or had himself sacrificed; not much of a distinction between the two, really) Before dying, he himself asked he himself why he had forsaken himself.
He himself, being dead, then raised himself from the dead less than 40 hours later, though he himself had said he’d be dead for three days and three nights, which he could do because he was still alive, and later he himself pulled himself up into heaven where he himself apparently already was, and where he himself is described as now sitting at the right hand of himself.
He himself then sent himself (or a ghost of himself, if you please) back to earth to be a comfort to us, though he himself is still sitting at the right hand of himself.
And, glory hallelujah, he himself promised that he himself will return someday, though he himself is already here, and will still be there, to snatch up those who believe the god blood sacrifice story he himself told us, and kill the rest of us who don’t believe the god blood sacrifice story, no matter how nice we were otherwise. But, since killing us isn’t enough to appease his righteousness, he himself will then judge us, though according to ManGod he himself will also not judge us, and being a god of love will cast most of us into hell for an eternity of suffering. He has to, of course, because he is a righteous, just god, and can’t figure out a way to save anyone who hasn’t been redeemed by god-blood, even though he is omniscient, omnipotent, and omnibenevolent, and loves us all.

(Mar 14, 2017 12:51 AM)Syne Wrote: It's largely analogy, and the Jews who read the original Hebrew of the Old Testament have always affirmed that. Eden is largely a story of free will and man learning to discern right and wrong, elevating them above the animals. God's command and the serpent's temptation are the internal conflict of those with free will, balancing selfish desire with responsible accountability.
Jesus taught many things borrowed from Eastern religion/philosophy. He taught that "ye are gods, all sons and daughters of the most high", and counted himself a son of god. The trinity is not a doctrine expressed in the Bible. Jesus died for the sins of the world. (for - because of, e.g. can't sleep for the heat) So it may not have been a sacrifice to god, but because of sin in the world and for the martyrdom that would spread the message.
The holy spirit is the same spirit of god that was in Jesus and the same that he referred to in others, as the sons of god.

But between nonreligious ridicule and religious literalism, the truth is unlikely to be heard by many.

(Mar 13, 2017 07:53 PM)Zinjanthropos Wrote: Some of us probably share a similar view. Is it satire or just how it sounds to a non Christian?  For the most part am I an infidel even though I agree with what's written? I'd like to see more of these summaries re other religions.

Quote:

The Plan of Salvation

(as written by Mageth on Infidels)

God himself created man and woman and placed them in a garden, in “his own image”, but got righteously angry at them when they ate, against his wish, and after being tempted by a talking serpent that god himself had somehow allowed to slither about in the garden, a tasty, beautiful fruit, though he himself had placed it there but neglected to instill in his creations the knowledge of good and evil so that they would know it was wrong to eat it. Being omniscient, of course, he knew all this before he started, but was apparently unable to do anything about it because he had planned it this way from the beginning, and apparently god cannot change anything he already knows, in spite of the fact that he’s omnipotent, omniscient and omnibenevolent.
Later, God himself impregnated a virgin so that he himself could be born a human, a ManGod. This was necessary, apparently, because only his own ManGod blood could appease himself and deliver humans, who he created, and who he knew would muck things up by eating the fruit, from his own righteous anger.
Of course, he waited several thousand years to implement this divine plan, in the meantime taking the righteous action of drowning every creature on the planet except a few he could stuff on a boat. Not to mention handing down a Law that served to further condemn every one of us, and in which Law he himself had them frequently sacrifice animals to appease himself, though he knew the blood of animals didn’t really appease himself.
Much later, god, in a garden, prayed to himself to “take this cup” away from himself, though he himself knew that he himself had planned the coming events from the beginning and knew that not even he himself could save himself, even though he was god and omnipotent, omniscient, etc. Accepting this, he said, in effect, “Not my will, but my will.”
God then sacrificed himself to himself to save us from himself. (or had himself sacrificed; not much of a distinction between the two, really) Before dying, he himself asked he himself why he had forsaken himself.
He himself, being dead, then raised himself from the dead less than 40 hours later, though he himself had said he’d be dead for three days and three nights, which he could do because he was still alive, and later he himself pulled himself up into heaven where he himself apparently already was, and where he himself is described as now sitting at the right hand of himself.
He himself then sent himself (or a ghost of himself, if you please) back to earth to be a comfort to us, though he himself is still sitting at the right hand of himself.
And, glory hallelujah, he himself promised that he himself will return someday, though he himself is already here, and will still be there, to snatch up those who believe the god blood sacrifice story he himself told us, and kill the rest of us who don’t believe the god blood sacrifice story, no matter how nice we were otherwise. But, since killing us isn’t enough to appease his righteousness, he himself will then judge us, though according to ManGod he himself will also not judge us, and being a god of love will cast most of us into hell for an eternity of suffering. He has to, of course, because he is a righteous, just god, and can’t figure out a way to save anyone who hasn’t been redeemed by god-blood, even though he is omniscient, omnipotent, and omnibenevolent, and loves us all.

(Mar 14, 2017 12:51 AM)Syne Wrote: It's largely analogy, and the Jews who read the original Hebrew of the Old Testament have always affirmed that. Eden is largely a story of free will and man learning to discern right and wrong, elevating them above the animals. God's command and the serpent's temptation are the internal conflict of those with free will, balancing selfish desire with responsible accountability.
Jesus taught many things borrowed from Eastern religion/philosophy. He taught that "ye are gods, all sons and daughters of the most high", and counted himself a son of god. The trinity is not a doctrine expressed in the Bible. Jesus died for the sins of the world. (for - because of, e.g. can't sleep for the heat) So it may not have been a sacrifice to god, but because of sin in the world and for the martyrdom that would spread the message.
The holy spirit is the same spirit of god that was in Jesus and the same that he referred to in others, as the sons of god.

But between nonreligious ridicule and religious literalism, the truth is unlikely to be heard by many.

(Mar 14, 2017 04:29 PM)Zinjanthropos Wrote: You know how people hear or see things different? Well, when it comes to holy text, what I get from it is pretty much the same summary as quoted in the OP. It just sounds too unbelievable for lies, nonsense, mythology and contradiction to become the words that form a belief system. It might as well be pure gibberish, maybe it is.

Quote:Well, you, too, live in a subjective world, Zinman. 

(Mar 14, 2017 07:10 PM)Secular Sanity Wrote: But it’s difficult to imagine a world without friends, with only a disposition to worldly friendliness.  It would not only be unrealistic, but also, unrecognizable as a human world.

It may limit our moral sympathy, but that’s how we learn to love humanity, through loving particulars.

(Mar 14, 2017 03:51 PM)Secular Sanity Wrote: If you want to use the myth as an analogy of free will, we could also say that the discouragement of vengeance in the very next chapter may imply otherwise.

(Mar 14, 2017 04:56 PM)RainbowUnicorn Wrote: i like this idea... however it all falls apart and becomes cave-man banging a stick on a log when i hear & see all the homophobic rhetoric being spouted by soo called christians.

Quote:Oh, you mean those who knew the slippery slope of allowing gay marriage would lead to Christians losing their livelihood?