There are many people who are pretty cautious in life, never impulsively jumping into projects, new adventures, relationships etc, and maybe the reason for that is fear of failure. Fear of loss? Fear, nonetheless. So, they often prevent themselves from trying something new, getting out of their proverbial comfort zones, and opportunities pass by. But, failure can teach us things about ourselves, and help us to improve and progress. At the same time, failure stings and doesn't feel like a very beneficial experience whilst it's happening. I think there is something instinctive about choosing to avoid pain. Avoiding taking risks because you fear pain and loss, will also prevent you from enjoying the positives that might come from taking risks.
We could say that it's better to never try drugs though, than to try drugs and crash your car because you're high (''failing'') So, in some instances, not trying something at all is better than failing. However, crashing your car while you're high, if you survive, could teach you valuable lessons about life, because you nearly lost your own.
But, that's just the way I see things, what are your views on this? Do you find that it's better to fail or to never try?
The surrounding environment, society, culture, status quo, job, family, etc will pretty much let one know the rudimentary items which one needs to be pursuing regardless of fears. Via offering some nagging and uncomfortable consequences of its own, of various sorts and degrees. Once beyond that "conform to survive, to be accepted, to deserve respect, to qualify for this" level, there's the legroom of personal choice as to "what's best for one's self". There's no universal answer for that zone. Some endeavors are indeed better left alone while others can be constructive regardless of non-success / pain. Depending on the individual, circumstances, etc.
(Setting aside potential pursuits, habits / interests, experiments, where success / failure may not even be applicable or relevant; or would be something to sanely avoid no matter who / where one is...)
This seems to come down to a proper estimation of consequences. Obviously, some potential consequences are not worth risking, like drunk driving, etc.. But some people can overestimate the risk of fairly innocuous failures. And some people can prioritize financial security, social standing, etc.. Risk is relative to goals. It is only when fear of risk overwhelms desired goals that it is an issue. But depending on self-awareness, some people may not even be aware that they have altered their goals to accommodate their fears.
I guess some could argue that a person by not trying has failed. I play the investment game, I know what failure is all about but I also know what success is. I've made good money and lost it just the same. What keeps me going is not just the thrill but the fact that I'm trying to win. I'd be pissed off if I didn't do this and thus squandered a chance(s). I'm prepared to lose in order to win, I understand the risk I'm taking and I'm prepared for the consequences of a failure. Mind you it isnt as risky now as when I first started, I have my original stake and some gains locked up safe and sound. I do it for my family but if they had known the risks I took, I doubt very much whether they would have approved. Everyone has their own pain (as in failure) threshold. You won't know what it truly is until you take a chance.
If we never try, we are pretty much guaranteed to fail.
But I do have kind of a rule in my life: 'When in doubt, don't'.
That rule typically applies when I'm shopping, contemplating spending lots of money or something like that. Or if I feel like making some angry hurtful remark, but feel that maybe it will wreck a relationship. It also applies to what I consider risky long-shots.
(Dec 29, 2016 04:20 AM)Yazata Wrote: [ -> ]But I do have kind of a rule in my life: 'When in doubt, don't'.
That rule typically applies when I'm shopping, contemplating spending lots of money or something like that. Or if I feel like making some angry hurtful remark, but feel that maybe it will wreck a relationship. It also applies to what I consider risky long-shots.
My little rule:
He who hesitates, waits. Comes in handy at a four way stop.
(Dec 29, 2016 04:35 AM)Zinjanthropos Wrote: [ -> ] (Dec 29, 2016 04:20 AM)Yazata Wrote: [ -> ]But I do have kind of a rule in my life: 'When in doubt, don't'.
That rule typically applies when I'm shopping, contemplating spending lots of money or something like that. Or if I feel like making some angry hurtful remark, but feel that maybe it will wreck a relationship. It also applies to what I consider risky long-shots.
My little rule: He who hesitates, waits. Comes in handy at a four way stop.
Now there's one I can relate to. Comes in handy merging into the freeway too.
Actually, I can relate to Yaz's too, except mine is "when in doubt, procrastinate". I've saved tons of money making my natural procrastination work for me.
These both apply to completely different circumstances...related to the goals for each. Short-term goals require decisive action, while long-term goals require a bit more contemplation.
(Dec 29, 2016 04:58 AM)Syne Wrote: [ -> ] (Dec 29, 2016 04:35 AM)Zinjanthropos Wrote: [ -> ] (Dec 29, 2016 04:20 AM)Yazata Wrote: [ -> ]But I do have kind of a rule in my life: 'When in doubt, don't'.
That rule typically applies when I'm shopping, contemplating spending lots of money or something like that. Or if I feel like making some angry hurtful remark, but feel that maybe it will wreck a relationship. It also applies to what I consider risky long-shots.
My little rule: He who hesitates, waits. Comes in handy at a four way stop.
Now there's one I can relate to. Comes in handy merging into the freeway too.
Actually, I can relate to Yaz's too, except mine is "when in doubt, procrastinate". I've saved tons of money making my natural procrastination work for me.
These both apply to completely different circumstances...related to the goals for each. Short-term goals require decisive action, while long-term goals require a bit more contemplation.
I've put off procrastinating for now. I suppose doubting and hesitating are mild forms of procrastination. Waiting, a more severe degree of it perhaps? Contemplation is right there also...... These things take time.
Yeah, I keep meaning to put off procrastinating...
(Dec 28, 2016 03:26 AM)Leigha Wrote: [ -> ]There are many people who are pretty cautious in life, never impulsively jumping into projects, new adventures, relationships etc, and maybe the reason for that is fear of failure. Fear of loss? Fear, nonetheless. So, they often prevent themselves from trying something new, getting out of their proverbial comfort zones, and opportunities pass by. But, failure can teach us things about ourselves, and help us to improve and progress. At the same time, failure stings and doesn't feel like a very beneficial experience whilst it's happening. I think there is something instinctive about choosing to avoid pain. Avoiding taking risks because you fear pain and loss, will also prevent you from enjoying the positives that might come from taking risks.
We could say that it's better to never try drugs though, than to try drugs and crash your car because you're high (''failing'') So, in some instances, not trying something at all is better than failing. However, crashing your car while you're high, if you survive, could teach you valuable lessons about life, because you nearly lost your own.
But, that's just the way I see things, what are your views on this? Do you find that it's better to fail or to never try?
Obviousely you are elluding to an emotional risk rather than a financial risk or physical risk.
Do you include psychological risk ?(PTSD Depression. anxiety. emotional truama etc?)
could you please define a frame of refference ?