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Tinkering with creative writing thread: poetry, lyrics, prose, rap, etc (hobbies)

#31
C C Offline
June avatar done, so no turning back on this. Title change again, partially echoing the earliest version (two years ago?). If it's not clear enough now what it is about -- if it still had to be spelled out in the title, then the human race is doomed, indeed. Made some changes in the second part, since the previous revised version posted at SF a couple of weeks back.
- - - - - - - - -

The Spiraling Fall

It's picked clean,
this field of war.
Yet dirtier than a floor unswept.
Robbed of green,
sown with gore.
Wry missiles too fast to intercept.
Vows revoked, flags unfurled.
Noisy geese winging above our world.
Dormancy at the step.
Exodus underway.   
Nothing sleepless or guilty can stay. 

Feelings cringe
beyond the flames.
Wraiths so faint they've forgotten their names.
We avenge;
we're confused. 
One half betrayed, the other accused.
Gauntlet run, old wounds hit:       
"Scratch your eyes out if you play that shit."
Tribunal is excused.   
Take the ashes away.   
Yesterday's misgivings on display.

Brooding in
a failed temple.
No conscience to burn on its altar.
Wins are thin,
losses simple,
walking down the aisle to a slaughter.
Peering past broke stained-glass,     
following the night's narcotic call.                 
Leave or lead strife in tow:     
our plaint for letting go,   
over the roaring, spiraling fall.
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#32
C C Offline
Revision of last year's version; touched up the clunky bits in certain areas; the "refrain" definitely needed three more syllables added.
- - - - - - - - - - -

Stirring Tea

Outside the box there's inner intrigue.
Rude rustlings from an unavowed league.
Even your aide ducks disturbingly.
Pithy pointed knives are stirring tea.

Misdeeds exhumed by spelunking thought.
Pills prescribed and experts bought.
Wide-eyed weeks since truth was last sighted...
Glow seems dim. Are you being gaslighted?

You have become this stronghold's creature.
Haunting its halls, a phantom feature.
Access to the panoptic tower:
Seeing all, but deplumed of power.

That coiled, scaled rattling in your mind:
Was it an uplifting find?
Doubt is what this partnership invited...
Feel misled. Are you being gaslighted?

At sly angles their jagged jaws lurk.
Squeezing fate like tightening clockwork.
Calm your unease, the guests will arrive.
Leeching you pale until you're alive.

Was it dry wit that scored a titter?
Making them dicey, bitter?
A playhouse built by risks that collided...
Madness looms. Are you being gaslighted?

Behind this wall is the golden thief.
Shivering like slabs of butchered beef.
Where purloined promises hang in a row.
A primeval place you should not go.

Bundles of cryptic papers are spied.
Softly, slowly ratified.
Ornamental lies have been decided...
Smoke is thick. Are you being gaslighted?

Seaside, there crept a wriggly design.
Fattened on sweet spite and salty shore.
It curved through garden and prickly vine.
Setting a springe for the herbivore.

"You buy pity with your shrill conceits."
"Our goodwill veils no deceits."
Deep throughout what the sewer has guided...
What's that smell? Are you being gaslighted?
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#33
C C Offline
EDIT: After some changes, fork finally impaled. Usually more entwined than what the "duh" one of the title suggests.
- - - - - - - - -

The Simulated Woman

Still nobody at your home?
Gosh. You're all, all, all alone.
Got a witchling in the dome.
But...
She's not even flesh and bone.

Not really a replacement.
Not truly for enslavement.
Not quite your previous wife.
She's uncanny valley life.

You believe in abstract things.   
Rights, and hopes and gods as kings.
This one does not wish she could: 
Beauty, honor, evil, good.

Unwinding without childhood.
Hungering through the wildwood. 
Restless under power lines.
Chanting till the moon reclines.

Mimicking mortal dealings.   
Pretending, playing a part. 
Hope you uncover feelings.   
But...
She's just parsing in the dark.

Heard they plowed and sowed your field.
Bungholes got their stops unsealed.
Heard they ate your fish and bread.
Built a mistress from the dead.

Uh, who's that in the mirror?
She's known, yet slightly queerer.
The sorcery that it took.
Bet Prometheus is shook.

How long have you been dozing?
So far from what I'm posing?
How close is cupcake land?
Past the blackest, barren sand!
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#34
C C Offline
Eh... still posted it premature.

One slight change that will be in the animated GIF avatar next month is that "Rights, and hopes..." will be replaced by "Rights, and love, and gods as kings."

Another change is that "The sorcery..." will be replaced by "What sorcery that it took!"
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#35
confused2 Offline
passing in the dark? Could be either ???
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#36
C C Offline
(Jul 16, 2023 10:35 PM)confused2 Wrote: passing in the dark? Could be either ???

Really is parsing. "Parsing in the dark." Can't fit "analyzing", "computing", etc in there (too many syllables, too stereotypical, other problems).
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#37
confused2 Offline
(Jul 16, 2023 11:03 PM)C C Wrote:
(Jul 16, 2023 10:35 PM)confused2 Wrote: passing in the dark? Could be either ???

Really is parsing. "Parsing in the dark." Can't fit "analyzing", "computing", etc in there (too many syllables, too stereotypical, other problems).

'parsing' is good. 'parsing' is very good. As it goes past I won't stop to wonder - "Should that be..?" - of course not. Sorry.
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#38
C C Offline
(Jul 17, 2023 01:02 AM)confused2 Wrote:
(Jul 16, 2023 11:03 PM)C C Wrote:
(Jul 16, 2023 10:35 PM)confused2 Wrote: passing in the dark? Could be either ???

Really is parsing. "Parsing in the dark." Can't fit "analyzing", "computing", etc in there (too many syllables, too stereotypical, other problems).

'parsing' is good. 'parsing' is very good. As it goes past I won't stop to wonder - "Should that be..?" - of course not. Sorry.

Well, most people would probably feel initially that it is a typo or something. So it's good to have the opportunity to clarify that it's not. (I.e., no apologies ever necessary.)

There's a deliberate attempt to obscure what's going on with supernatural metaphor and ambience. Only the title itself, the use of "uncanny valley", and "parsing" suggest otherwise.

There are suggestive, optional interpretations, too. But those whacky/tacky, facetious possibilities will probably be left out image-wise in the animated GIF.
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#39
C C Offline
Posted this at SF, but began to realize it maybe worked better by the moving the first stanza to last position. Also made other minor modifications in the latter. There are periods and line breaks that could seem to be interrupting in a few odd places. But that's due to the necessity of indicating brief pauses there. Also facilitates the completion of rhyming pairs occurring at the beginning of some lines, rather than just the ends.
- - - - - - -

Thought Virus
Cece

Be a bad boy. Let us in.
Lift the window. We're just twins.
Don't believe what the priestess said:
"Fallen angels can invade your head."
Sweet charms are slanted
at your eyes.
Enchanted words float
where the new prophets rise.
Quote the gospel you muscled-up grin.
Be a bad boy. Let us in.

Be a good girl. Let us in.
Open the door. We're just kin.
Don't believe prudes and all their kind.
Demons can never possess your mind.
Tender lies tickle
at your ears.
Fickle memes are blown
where the cold cynic sneers.
Phone the locksmith, you college age sin.
Be a good girl. Let us in.

O wise sentry. Of the region.
Grant us entry. We are Legion.
Don't believe what the mages claim.
We just need to prowl in your mainframe.
We rode by some swine
at the cliffs.
Fine, you surmise we
don't accept divine gifts.
Free conspiracies, with a hot spin:
Our specialty. Let us in.
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